Tale Winds Propel Road Scholar

 
 
By Spencer F. Katt  |  Posted 2006-07-10 Email Print this article Print
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

In search of eggshell-ence: Katt dines on interstate rumors

They should post a 404 error sign on the Jersey Turnpike," cried the Kitty, whose Atlantic City casino-hopping plans were dashed by a shutdown due to New Jersey lawmakers failure to resolve the state budget. The disappointed Drudge fled the Jersey shore and, after several wrong turns, found himself playing online poker on his laptop in a Greek diner in Connecticut. As the famished Furball ordered his second breakfast entree, he received a call from a Cantabrigian crony, who noted Oracle CEO Larry Ellison has reneged on his $115 million donation to Harvard University. "Natch," nattered the know-it-all nabob, who previously had noted on the eWEEK Podcast that Harvard had yet to receive the gift from Ellison, who is using the departure of Harvard President Larry Summers as an excuse to keep his checkbook in his pocket.

Sploosh! An errant hunk of omelet hit the Kittys keyboard, causing a hen-fruit redirect that sent him from his poker pursuits to Sun bigwig Jonathan Schwartzs blog. There, Schwartz laughingly addressed the fact that hed been named one of the "10 People Who Dont Matter" by Business 2.0 magazine. Schwartz dismissed the dis, proclaiming: "60 days into my new job, and Im sharing an award with Steve Ballmer and Linus Torvalds. Two individuals (sharing the company of many others) I would never presume to count out, but apparently Business 2.0 does. Its an honor to share their company."

While ordering up a few gyros, the gluttonous Grimalkin received a call from a Penguinista who pointed out that DefectiveByDesign.org, an anti-DRM (digital rights management) faction of the Free Software Foundation, is seeking U2 frontman Bonos aid in the fight against DRM. The online appeal to the singer reads: "You have dedicated a major part of your lifes work to fighting for good causes, bringing pressure to bear on the powerful and political elite to effect positive change. In the same way that you have called for action from world leaders, we now call upon you to look at the facts surrounding DRM, and join us in demanding an end to handcuffs on technology and culture."

"If they get him to organize a concert, Id buy the bootleg," laughed the loopy Lynx. Done with his repast, the Rumormonger headed back to Beantown. Once home, the Kitty chatted with a Microsoft watcher, who said the student team from South Korea participating in Microsofts Imagine Cup software competition demoed a program for Chairman Bill that evaluates whether exercises are performed correctly. One of the students asked Gates if he exercised regularly, to which Gates replied yes. When asked if he was exercising correctly, Gates replied, "Probably not." Unsurprisingly, a handheld device from Virginia Commonwealth University called PocketDoc, which links doctors and patients, won and will move on to the Worldwide Imagine Cup Finals, in India, later this summer. "Its bad form to evaluate a mans health habits," belched the Baron of Babble as he swallowed a roll of Tums.

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