The Sands of E-Woe

Spencer F. Katt flees irate beach goers after squashing kiddies' sand castle.

From: spencer_katt@ziffdavis.com
Sent: Monday, August 16, 2004 12:33 AM
To: eWEEK readers
Subject: EMC goes to Dell agency; Symantec has Microsoft in dashboard dither

Spence sauntered gingerly across the hot Cape Cod sand in his one-piece, powder-blue cabana suit looking for a place to set up for a day at the beach. "Do Ya Think Im Sexy?" blared his newest KattPhone ring tone. Startled, the Maven of Murmur dropped his cooler, lounge chair and beach bag on an elaborate sand castle.

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The caller was a crony who claimed storage chums EMC and Dell are getting cozier every day. EMC is entrenched with Dell in a co-branded, multibillion-dollar storage system strategy that has already been extended through December 2008. EMC has also signed with Dells PR firm—OutCast Communications. "Of all the large-agency options, is it a coincidence that EMC hired the same agency that serves its biggest partner, or could a larger union be on the horizon?" the crony kibitzed.

As he set up camp, Spence shooed away two kiddies with pails and shovels who seemed to be crying for no reason over a pile of sand at his feet. The Tawny Titan had staked his claim within range of the Wi-Fi hot spot of a cafe so that he could check his e-mail. A note from a Tabby tattler claimed that Microsoft is fuming at Symantec over patches the anti-virus company has released that let its products integrate with Service Pack 2 for Windows XP. A big part of SP2 is the Windows Security Center, which resembles a dashboard with red and green lights that indicate when your firewall, AV and other security stuff is turned on or off or is out-of-date. The tattler claimed Symantec changed some SP2 code so that if any of its anti-virus products are disabled or out-of-date, the Security Center will continue to flash a green light rather than a red one. The tattler also heard that Microsoft execs forbade Redmondites from speaking with Symantec personnel until the software giant has conceived a battle plan for dealing with the Nortonian nemesis.

Much to the chagrin of his fellow beach goers, Spence drew a gaggle of gulls into a Hitchcockian frenzy by setting up a huge luncheon for himself and then falling asleep. Long after the gulls had devoured the Rumormongers repast, Spence awoke to vibrations from his BlackBerry and a message from a tipster that Computer Associates will cull older products from its catalog. Look for CAs BrightStor CA-ASM2 Backup and Restore as well as AllFusion CA-Panvalet to go legacy soon, said the tipster, who also guessed that CA products for IBMs old VSE mainframe operating system will soon be seeing an end to any future development, too.

The Puss was digging through his cooler for a Pabst when a burly, red-faced man charged toward him, accompanied by the two weepy kids hed encountered earlier. As Spence fled, he answered a call from a pal who claimed the security specialists at Foundstone might be selling off the consulting arm of the company. "Ill have to consult with you later!" gasped the Grimalkin as he felt the trio about to overtake him.

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