Katt Cools Off With Hot Rumors

Its not so much the heat as the humidity," sighed the sweaty Scribe, watching the thermometer hit triple digits for the second day in a row. With no AC in the KattPad, Spencer took to checking his e-mail out on the front step. His BlackBerry contained an invitation from SCO representatives to interview Darl McBride, the CEO who always plays hard to get. "Hey, Darl wants to meet moi!" El Gato riffed in an e-mail fired off to his editor, sensing an excuse to beat the heat. "Im booking a plane to Utah."

The Baron of Babbles bubble was burst, however, when said editor informed him that colleagues from around the globe also got the same invitation to talk about the companys new strategy—mobile software and services—and that the mass mailing was obviously a desperate attempt to rekindle SCO mind share now that its IBM lawsuit is on its last legs. "Wow," laughed the Lynx. "Its not so much the heat as the humility!

While Spencer was cracking open another cold one, a CA tidbit dropped into his in-box. The tipster said the company formerly known as Computer Associates is considering putting its professional services employees on Form 1099. That means the employees will be responsible for paying their own taxes. As a result of that, they might also end up having to pick up more of their own travel costs for going to jobs. But itll make the bottom line look better for investors. "Now theyre cooking! And so am I!" crooned the Katt, deciding to head to the movies to cool off.

On the way to see some of his old Animal Actors Guild cronies in "Barnyard," the Katt took a cell call from one of his spies in Redmond. "Speaking of cronies," tattled the tipster, "it looks like the latest executive shuffling at Microsoft is just the beginning of big changes in the Windows division." It seems now that Windows development team leader Brian Valentine is being moved to another position, incoming Windows boss Steven Sinofsky is looking to bring in more of his old cohorts.

Leaving the movies scratching his head over all those male cows, a suddenly hungry Spence headed to Lefty ODouls buffet. Following up on one tip, he had to get to the bottom of something to do with ham and cheese. "Whats that got to do with virtual private networking?" Spence was yelling into his cell trying to get the name of the virtual VPN company with 3 million users that was going to be sold Aug. 7. Why did the KattPhone always malfunction when it was needed the most? Where was that "Can you hear me now?" guy? Spence soon realized he was speaking into the boiled potato he had heaped on his plate instead of the cell. The only message left on the KattPhone was for Spencer to logmein on Monday and find out who bought the Hamachi zero-config VPN.