Patch This

By Spencer F. Katt  |  Posted 2005-10-17 Print this article Print

Open windows; Google purchases; unemployed loser


Sent: Monday, October 17, 2005 12:15 AM

To: eWEEK readers

Subject: Open windows; Google purchases; unemployed loser

"Patches, Im depending on you, son," sang the Clarence Carter-loving Kitty as he finished fielding calls from folks fretting over the fallout from Microsofts recent security patch releases. Already, people are being urged to rush through testing and install the patch for Microsoft Distributed Transaction Coordinator. The buzz is that since the patch was released, evil Web doers may already have a Zotob-like worm out in the wild that could remotely exploit the MSDTC vulnerability in Windows 2000. For those who procrastinate before executing the patches, McAfee claims its Entercept products Generic Buffer Overflow Protection feature already protects against code execution of this vulnerability. Meanwhile, Internet Security Systems posted a laundry list of product updates it claims will deal with the problem on its Web site.

Bidding his pal adieu, the Katt was crestfallen to find he, too, was in need of patching when he discovered a rip in his new sports coat. But, alas, finding a tailor who could mend such fine Gossypium hirsutum fabric would be more of a challenge than patching the hole in Internet Explorers DDS Library Shape Control.

Le Chat was chagrined to find another kind of windows vulnerability: Hed left the KattMobiles windows open all night during a torrential downpour. While the Furball fidgeted on his soggy upholstery as he drove to work, he received a call on the KattPhone from a security maven who reported that Arbor Networks surveyed Tier 1 and Tier 2 ISPs and found that DDoS attacks are still the most crippling threat to providers. The amusing part was that respondents cited cyber-warfare, corporate espionage, extortion and disputes between adolescents on gaming Web sites as the top motivations for the daily DDoS attacks. "Rugrats," laughed the Lynx. "They should all be in the Peace Corps."

The maven also told Spence hed heard that security vendor Websense has pretty much given up on press releases for its public relations and marketing and has turned to getting reporters attention through viral means, such as seeding security forums and chat groups with its vision of cyber-security.

As he arrived at work to find only decaf available in the kitchen, the Kittys day was going downhill faster than the Prudential Equity Groups rating of Intel shares, when he received a call from a Google watcher. The browsing buddy claimed the Google rumor du jour is that the company may be close to launching its own online payment system, which may eventually be called Google Purchases. "Maybe theyll use it to pay off their Skype bill," smirked Spence.

Later, Spence came across a Web site called The site is ostensibly run by an unemployed 24-year-old named Mike who lives with his parents and hopes to raise $1 million so he can remain an unemployed loser. "If only I had been that focused at 24," cackled the Kitty.


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