Running SAP

From: spencer_katt@ziffdavis.com

Sent: Monday, February 13, 2006 12:13 AM

To: eWEEK readers

Subject: ERP by any other name; for geeks, MIT love; Google talent search

"I am stuck on SAP, cuz SAPs stuck on me," sang El Gato into his cell phone, scaring several nearby patrons at Bukowskis bar in Cambridge, Mass. The Lynx was laughing as a phone crony told him that Rodney Seligmann, chief operating officer of SAPs Territory Sales Organization, has declared that SAP should be as synonymous with ERP as the Band-Aid brand is to the adhesive bandage industry and the Kleenex brand is to the tissue business.

"When people think ERP, I want them to call it SAP," Seligmann told a group of ISVs and resellers at the software makers field-sales kickoff meeting last week in San Antonio. "I want to be like Band-Aid or Kleenex by the end of this year."

The companys ad campaign, "The best-run businesses run SAP," currently visible in many airports, may soon be seen in other media, including TV, said the crony. "I thought former President Jimmy Carters brother Billys name would eventually become synonymous with beer," said Spence, recalling the short-lived 70s brew, Billy Beer.

Spence bid his phone pal adieu and resumed chatting with a Cantabrigian pal he had met at the bar named after the hard-drinking poet and author, Charles Bukowski. The pal told the Katt that MIT had conducted its charm school course once again, just in time for Valentines Day. The one-day event is designed to help MITs brainiacs socialize with the rest of humanity, who arent developing death rays or time machines 24/7. Besides lessons on table manners, ballroom dancing and hygiene, the event also features flirty sex ed instruction, according to coverage by the Harvard Crimson newspaper. Laura Stuart, an MIT instructor whose tag for the day read "Sex Lady," told attendees her job was to instruct them on how to score with the opposite sex, the Crimson reported. "Teaching them to breathe through their nose first would be key," snorted Spence.

Ignoring the Grimalkins guffaws, the pal asked Spence if hed seen that SCO has reported that IBM just turned over 340,000 pages of documents to the court for review, in yet another chapter of SCOs ongoing legal case against Big Blue. "Man, I thought SCO had finally started focusing on that little Unix business it runs in between legal fights," mused the Mouser. Apparently, SCO has still been going full throttle and, according to Groklaw.com, even obtained a deposition from former Big Blue honcho Lou Gerstner in Palm Beach.

The pal also said Google has scooped up yet another search maven from a high-profile company. Udi Manber, the captain helming A9, Amazon.coms online search effort, has apparently joined the Google Guys. David Tennenhouse, formerly of Intel and DARPA, will replace him. "Mmm, Im trying to envision Jeff Bezos tossing a chair—Steve Ballmer-like—and taking Eric Schmidts name in vain," cackled the Kitty. "But Im not seeing it."