Breaking Up Is Hard to Do; Just Ask Wyly
From plans for world domination to speculation that Bill Gates can see you in the showerit seems there has never been a shortage of conspiracy theories inspired by Microsoft and its products.From plans for world domination to speculation that Bill Gates can see you in the showerit seems there has never been a shortage of conspiracy theories inspired by Microsoft and its products. So, naturally, Spencer was amused to hear that a very senior Redmond exec actually came up with a conspiracy theory of his ownthat the Democrats are continuing their crusade against the company to keep the economy weak and thus boost the partys chances in next years Senate and House elections. A friend of the Furball said the Microsoft exec claimed over dinner with analysts recently that Sen. Charles Schumers, D-N.Y., attempt to get federal and state trustbusters to delay XPs release is due to the fact that the Dems want a weak economy next yearnoting that a weak economy does not favor the party in power. Spencer adjusted his aluminum foil beanie, which actually blocks thought rays beamed at his skull from the Pentagon, and pondered the theory. After enduring an antitrust investigation and trial launched by a Clinton- appointed Department of Justice, Schumers attack probably does seem like the party line to the Redmondians. "Hey, never underestimate the intelligence of the average voter," cackled the Kitty. "Why, youd have to be knee-deep in chads not to see through a smoke screen like that."
A Katt crony in the know was chatting recently with His Hirsuteness about Sam Wylys attempt to take over Computer Associates by convincing stockholders that CA is "cooking its books." According to the friend of the Furry One, in his proxy bid to wrest control of CA from its current management, Wyly commissioned a study that strongly suggested that CA customers are not very happy. But the survey results, posted on his Web site and in the initial proxy filing with the SEC, disappeared from the site and from the formal proxy statement filed later. Nobody is sure why, but the Tabby tattler speculated that the SEC may have made Wyly remove it because the results were either too suspect or deemed intentionally damaging to CAs stock price.