Theres a reason a lot of workers dread holiday parties and its because "fun" and "making sure you can continue to pay your bills" rarely mix in a copasetic manner.
Can you drink? Must you wear a tie? What if you say the wrong thing? What if your manager says you should loosen up but doesnt really mean it? What if you make a bad joke? Do you have to be nice to the vice president that always calls you "Bob" when your name is "Brian"?
To some, it feels like walking a tightrope and its reason enough to just want to stay home.
But you cant. Or it is at least considered ill-advised by HR professionals and those people who hired you and are footing the bill for the party.
Youre going to have to show up, and youll have to clean up your mess if you blow it. But eWEEK strives to make this a lot less daunting with by leading you through a guided tour of the things you should not do.
1. Blow It Off
We hate to put it to you this way, but consider your offices holiday party part of your job. No matter what your personal feelings are regarding the mixing of work and play, or how dull the music, the people upstairs really did throw it with the best of intentions, so think of it like a business dinner and let them know if you are arriving late or leaving early.
And show up ready to work… just a little less hard.
"Its an employer-sponsored party, so treat it like a business function first and a party second. Make sure you attend. People tend not to feel any obligation to attend, but you should. Show up even if you dont stay the whole time," Nancy Halverson, vice president of talent development at Fort Lauderdale, Fla. recruiting and staffing firm Spherion, told eWEEK.
2. Not Know Who You Are Talking To
If there is any other salient reason that workers tend to have mixed feelings toward office holiday parties, its that guy. You know, the one from accounting and The Story That Will Never Die about the time he hit on a woman at the party that turned out to be the CEOs wife of 30 years.
It gets whispered in the corridors whenever he passes and carried on to new recruits as they join the company. Even the overnight maintenance guy knows about the look that crossed his face when she clarified who she was, and while everyone is sure its an unrelated occurrence, that guy in accounting hasnt been promoted in the five years since.
Furthermore, dont forget to prep your guest that she or he is about join a conversation with the Chairman of the Board. Theyll thank you for the warning.
"Make sure your prep your spouse or guest on the intricacies of your workplace. They should know who your supervisors and important people are and they should be in the loop on some company gossip so they dont make a totally innocent, but very damaging, mistake," said Halverson.
3. Get Plastered and Tell Your Boss How You Really, Really Feel
Remember that scene in Bridget Joness Diary in which she has an office party flashback where she is crooning off-key at the top of her lungs, a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of booze in the other, and, if we remember correctly, she has some tassels on her head?
Well, between Bridget-level holiday party embarrassment and where you would like to be, there are endless ways that drinking too much of that free spiked punch can make you regret more than your hangover the next day.
Overdrinking at parties is often caused by anxiety, but just makes matters worse. So do everything in your power to keep yourself at a two-drink maximum.
Beyond that, eating before you arrive, ordering a seltzer with lime if you dont want others to know youve cut yourself off, and not saying anything you wouldnt say to your boss if you passed him or her in the hall are smart limitations to set. This also includes asking for a raise, if they can hire your friends son, putting someone on the spot about the health of the company or complaining about the lack of lumbar support in cubicle desk chairs.
4. Forget to Loosen Up
Ha, right! you think. Loosen up, you must be joking.
But seriously, this is the best time to show those people you work with that you are not just a personality-less IT guy who resets passwords and lectures about network security.
Youre a fun guy! You have hobbies. You like sports and history. You might even have gone to the same school as someone you work with. This is the time to find out. Nobody regrets finding out their co-workers are actually multi-faceted human beings.