The Worst Cube-Dwelling Offenses

Written by Deb Perelman; Illustrated by Brian Moore

Its not that your co-workers arent happy that your day is aloft with the sound of music, and your heart is filled with song—they are. But theyd still like you to keep it to yourself.

Dining al desko? Please, skip the garlic knots, tuna fish and curry; everyone in the cube farm doesnt want to smell it until happy hour.

From heartbreaking conversations with your significant other, daily—But when you said it the way you just said it, I felt that you were being insensitive …—to muffled conversations with your mother/therapist/cat about how everyone

The growth of video on the Internet? We think its fantastic. But play Borats Golden Globe acceptance speech on YouTube with the sound on, and prepare to feel some wrath from your fellow workers.

An excellent idea, really, if you are trying to make a large number of enemies in a minimal amount of time. For everyone else, were pretty sure youre not attending to other things in your vast and voluminous cube while on the phone, so pick up the recei

Hey Rico, did you get that TPS report? No, it should be on your desk. No, the second drawer! Oh, you wanted the other one? Thats not what I gave you? Check again because Im positive that…

Going somewhere, but leaving your cell phone—replete with its concert-volume Enter Sandman ring tone—on your desk …

Look, were all about showing your kids what you do, and inspiring them to do equally great things when they grow up. But its just one of those things that works out better for you, and everyone around you, if you have an office. With a door that closes.

Coming into work sneezing, coughing and blowing your nose. Even worse is if you comment aloud: I hope Im not contagious.

Peering into the cube next to yours and exclaiming aloud I love to read The Onion, too! And I didnt know we could use Google chat at work! is a sure-fire way to make some enemies.