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    Harry Potter Magic in the Data Center

    By
    eWEEK EDITORS
    -
    May 28, 2012
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      1Harry Potter Magic in the Data Center

      1

      by the editors of eWEEK; illustrated by Brian Moore

      2Harry Potter Magic in the Data Center – Cruciatus Curse

      2

      The pain inflicted by the unforgivable torture curse is about the same as the pain experienced by any data center manager who has to fix a major server crash during the end-of-the-quarter book closing or in the middle of the holiday sales rush. –John

      3Harry Potter Magic in the Data Center – Expecto Patronum

      3

      Wizards and witches cast this charm when a guardian is needed. The person casting the spell must think of the most incredibly happy event he or she can remember. In the case of IT managers, they may conjure a server that never went down (or perhaps downin

      4Harry Potter Magic in the Data Center – House Elves

      4

      They wear ragged, foul clothes; they always feel abused and neglected; they frequently mutter curses at their bosses; and chaos usually erupts wherever they appear. That’s not much different from the average data center crew. –Lisa Vaas

      5Harry Potter Magic in the Data Center – Imperius Curse

      5

      This puts victims into a dreamlike state in which they obey every command of the dark wizard who cast the spell, just like a bot herder that has assembled a vast botnet of enslaved PCs. –John Pallatto

      6Harry Potter Magic in the Data Center – Marauder’s Map

      6

      This map allowed Harry Potter to see who was moving about the halls of Hogwarts Castle. Editor Cameron Sturdevant uses his Trillian instant message client to see who is out and about on the Internet. Like Harry spying Wormtail wandering the halls, Cameron

      7Harry Potter Magic in the Data Center – Parseltongue

      7

      Harry Potter was born with the ability to understand the language of snakes. But in the IT world it would be anyone who can understand a sentence loaded with industry acronyms. –Debra Donston

      8Harry Potter Magic in the Data Center – Polyjuice Potion

      8

      Wizards drink it to assume the physical form of another person. But it must also be what the spammers are drinking before they concoct letters from our banks, from Microsoft support and from eBay, seeking to steal passwords and account information to assu

      9Harry Potter Magic in the Data Center – Portkeys

      9

      Why bother with TCP/IP when all you need to do is set up a portkey to transport people, things or information through space and time? –Paula Musich

      10Harry Potter Magic in the Data Center – Reducio

      10

      This spell causes an object to shrink. What most Muggles dont realize, however, is charm is whats really behind IBMs 45-nanometer manufacturing process. –Pat Burke

      11Harry Potter Magic in the Data Center – Reparo

      11

      What IT manager wouldn’t love to be able to recompile a corrupted disk drive with a single command? –Debra Donston

      12Harry Potter Magic in the Data Center – See More Slideshows Like This One

      12

      See more slideshows like this one!

      • The Top 25 Computer Spokesthings
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