How Not to Get Ahead in IT

written by Deb Donston; illustrated by Brian Moore

Don’t keep abreast of technology news and involved with product forums. If there’s something you need to be concerned with, you’ll find out about it soon enough.

Don’t explore alternatives (especially cheaper and open-source alternatives) to the technology systems your company is already using.

Don’t work with business managers to ensure that the technology you are acquiring for your company is aligned with business needs.

In fact, don’t take the time to really understand the core needs of your company and industry at all.

Don’t worry about those pesky regulatory requirements and keeping systems in compliance. This too shall pass.

Don’t apply the safeguards that would prevent sensitive data from being transferred to mobile devices that can be easily lost or stolen. And, for goodness sake, don’t encrypt sensitive data that must reside on mobile devices that can be easily lost or stolen.

If there is a computer breach, keep it hush-hush. (There’s a good chance no one will find out.)

Do ignore patches–especially the ones labeled “critical.”

Do ignore end user training. (Instead, laugh with your IT buddies about how stupid the users are.)

Don’t regularly monitor systems so that you know what good and bad behavior entail.

Think only about the current needs of your company. Don’t worry about what might be coming down the line in 5 years.