Microsoft to Yahoo Workers: Come on Over

Sure, Microsoft hasn’t been very successful in trying to buy Yahoo, but it doesn’t mean they can’t try for their savviest assets: their employees.

In an email leaked to Silicon Alley Insider, readers get a view of what it would be like to try to be so valuable to the worlds biggest software maker, they be worth the hard sell.

First of all, you’d have a Microsoft Talent Acquisition Consultant assigned to your case. Second of all, they’d not waste time getting to the matter at hand–Yahoo’s dismal earnings, and ensuing layoffs.

“I know a lot of people from Yahoo! have been reaching out to us lately because they are nervous about the pending layoffs. I wanted to give you an opportunity to explore Microsoft careers as well,” reads the email.

Third, they’d already have done their research, though they probably won’t call their fact-finding mission “Googling you.” “I found a little bit about you online and I’d appreciate an opportunity to fill in the blanks,” it continues.

Finally, if they can’t have you, they’d settle for, well, a lot of people it seems.

“If you are open to having a brief conversation, or know someone who would be, I’d love to hear from you!”

Thus, if you know someone who works at Yahoo, this might be a good time to call them, and perhaps the next version of this email can be in your inbox.