Friscy Kitty

From: spencer_katt@ziffdavis.com

Sent: Monday, October 3, 2005 12:17 AM

To: eWEEK readers

Subject: CTIA tireless; Axis of Stevil; still not evil

Spence figured it was just another Saturday afternoon in San Francisco when he stumbled upon a Burning Man-like celebration called the Love Parade, which was frolicking along within blocks of a huge anti-war rally. The Mouser was amused to note that a busload of police in full riot gear was stationed at a nearby intersection to make sure there wasnt any trouble when the peace march ran into the Love Parade. The loquacious Lynx was in the City by the Bay for the CTIA show at Moscone West and the 16th annual Blessing of the Animals at St. Boniface Catholic Church.

On Tuesday, the Furball attended a keynote address delivered by Suzan DelBene, Microsofts vice president of marketing for mobile and embedded devices. The exec noted that the new Windows Mobile-enabled Palm Treo she was holding wasnt functioning and that it was the exact same device used during the gala launch event the day before, featuring Microsofts Bill Gates, Palm President and CEO Ed Colligan and Verizon Wireless CEO Danny Strig.

DelBene then went on to explain that Microsoft was forced to disable the demo device because when Gates held the handset up to the crowd, the Treos phone number was displayed on the giant screen behind him. Consequently, hundreds of “very strange” text messages were sent to the device, DelBene said, forcing the Redmondites to shut it down. But, she assured the crowd, it really did work.

Just then, a cacophony from the Kittys khakis alerted him to a call from a crony who said Outlook Express may be renamed Windows Mail if and when Windows Vista arrives. The caller also directed Spence to check out www. axisofstevil.com/djsteveballmer.htm to experience DJ Ballmer Fresh—a sampling of Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmers screams, yelps and shouts that users can apply to accompanying techno beats. “Well, maybe folks can blast the Ballmer beats they create through their Palm devices with Altec Lansings new inMotion iMT1 Audio Dock speaker system for Palm devices, which was unveiled here,” cackled the Kitty.

Bidding his pal adieu, Spence was soon eavesdropping on two people discussing a rumor that MTV may soon launch a phone service. “Why not,” thought the telephonic Tabby. “ESPN just cut a deal to deliver content over Sanyo devices via Sprint Nextel.”

Alas, a Katt cant live on gossip alone, and Spence was soon dining with a pal at the Fifth Floor restaurant located in Friscos posh Hotel Palomar. Over dinner, the pal asked Spence if hed heard about Microsofts new licensing agreement that will offer 24-by-7 support for critical outages on all its products, imaginatively dubbed “24/7.” “Lemme guess,” Spence speculated. “Thats 24 minutes, 7 hours a week, right?”