Close
  • Latest News
  • Big Data and Analytics
  • Cloud
  • Networking
  • Cybersecurity
  • Applications
  • IT Management
  • Storage
  • Sponsored
  • Mobile
  • Small Business
  • Development
  • Database
  • Servers
  • Android
  • Apple
  • Innovation
  • Blogs
  • PC Hardware
  • Reviews
  • Search Engines
  • Virtualization
Read Down
Sign in
Close
Welcome!Log into your account
Forgot your password?
Read Down
Password recovery
Recover your password
Close
Search
Logo
Logo
  • Latest News
  • Big Data and Analytics
  • Cloud
  • Networking
  • Cybersecurity
  • Applications
  • IT Management
  • Storage
  • Sponsored
  • Mobile
  • Small Business
  • Development
  • Database
  • Servers
  • Android
  • Apple
  • Innovation
  • Blogs
  • PC Hardware
  • Reviews
  • Search Engines
  • Virtualization
More
    Home Applications
    • Applications

    Katt-vertisements

    By
    Spencer F. Katt
    -
    May 30, 2005
    Share
    Facebook
    Twitter
    Linkedin

      From: spencer_katt@ziffdavis.com

      Sent: Monday, May 30, 2005 12:13 AM

      To: eWEEK readers

      Subject: Your message hair; open season on phishing; Microsoft shows colors

      “Im gonna sell my body,” cried the Kitty, noting the multitude of folks who have offered their persons—for a fee—as billboards on eBay. “Ill set up an auction now, offering to shave any personal or corporate message into my fur for $271.37,” proclaimed the Puss, pricing his personage to match the outstanding balance on his corporate credit card. A crony wandered into the rumormongers cube, just as His Hirsuteness, razor in paw, was attempting to carve sample messages into his mange.

      The crony, shielding his eyes, said that at the recent Linux Solutions Retail Conference in Chicago, Overstock.com CTO Shawn Schwegman couldnt give his PowerPoint presentation on Overstocks Linux efforts because his Windows laptop died before he hit the stage. “That must have garnered some Kattcalls from the penguinistas,” laughed the Lynx. Suddenly, the Lynxs land line heralded a caller who claimed that storing medical records on cell phones is not far off. According to the caller, several Nokia reps attended a recent conference in Utah held by the Medical Records Institute to start talks on the subject.

      Later, the Katts cube crony asked if hed just shaved a crumpled leaf on his torso. “It was supposed to be the Adidas logo,” fretted the Furball. Suddenly, the KattPhones new ring tone, “London Calling,” turned up a babbler from Old Blighty who was attending the WiCon World show at the ExCel London conference center. Although the event was about wireless connectivity, attendee access to it was another story. It seems red-faced workers staffing the press room reported discovering that the metal walls and ceiling of the spacious ExCel convention hall blocked wireless signals. Luckily, said the tattler, a wired LAN saved the day.

      Spence asked his workmate to snap a picture of the Red Sox logo hed just created on his corpus, but the cohort convinced him that it looked more like two dead snakes. Just then, the Furry Ones BlackBerry began vibrating more frantically than his electric razor. It was an IM from a pal that online vigilantes are targeting phishing operations by defacing faux banking or investment sites that innocent e-mail recipients may be lured to. “Geeks versus the Russian mob!” cackled the Kitty. “I want the movie rights!” Spence was soon crestfallen when his office mate pointed out that the walking-billboard plan seemed kaput since the Plush One had now carved way too many divots into his fur.

      Spence then fielded an e-mail from a Redmond watcher who noted that Microsofts decision to back legislation banning discrimination against gays has quieted many of its critics on the subject. Now, possibly to make amends, the software giant is also a proud sponsor of a big upcoming Seattle gay pride festival. “I hope the celebrants realize that when Microsoft takes on a cause, it never does anything halfway,” mused the Mouser. “Im picturing Steve Ballmer with a rainbow flag around his waist doing the developer dance on a parade float.”

      Spencer F. Katt
      Spencer F. Katt, the Whiskered Wonder, has been the mascot and tipster extraordinaire for eWEEK and its predecessor print publication PC Week since 1984. The Gadabout Gatto makes the rounds of the high tech centers of the U.S. and beyond in search of news and gossip about the products, companies and people that keep the IT industry in top gear. By day he can often be found padding about the exhibit halls and briefing rooms searching for tips about the latest breakthrough products. By night he haunts the sushi bars and watering holes his ears alert to the merest whisper about a big round of venture capital funding or a blockbuster corporate buyout. The often tart-tongued tabby is always ready to share his own views about the inside stories behind the headlines. 

      MOST POPULAR ARTICLES

      Big Data and Analytics

      Alteryx’s Suresh Vittal on the Democratization of...

      James Maguire - May 31, 2022 0
      I spoke with Suresh Vittal, Chief Product Officer at Alteryx, about the industry mega-shift toward making data analytics tools accessible to a company’s complete...
      Read more
      Cybersecurity

      Visa’s Michael Jabbara on Cybersecurity and Digital...

      James Maguire - May 17, 2022 0
      I spoke with Michael Jabbara, VP and Global Head of Fraud Services at Visa, about the cybersecurity technology used to ensure the safe transfer...
      Read more
      Applications

      Cisco’s Thimaya Subaiya on Customer Experience in...

      James Maguire - May 10, 2022 0
      I spoke with Thimaya Subaiya, SVP and GM of Global Customer Experience at Cisco, about the factors that create good customer experience – and...
      Read more
      Cloud

      IGEL CEO Jed Ayres on Edge and...

      James Maguire - June 14, 2022 0
      I spoke with Jed Ayres, CEO of IGEL, about the endpoint sector, and an open source OS for the cloud; we also spoke about...
      Read more
      Big Data and Analytics

      GoodData CEO Roman Stanek on Business Intelligence...

      James Maguire - May 4, 2022 0
      I spoke with Roman Stanek, CEO of GoodData, about business intelligence, data as a service, and the frustration that many executives have with data...
      Read more
      Logo

      eWeek has the latest technology news and analysis, buying guides, and product reviews for IT professionals and technology buyers. The site’s focus is on innovative solutions and covering in-depth technical content. eWeek stays on the cutting edge of technology news and IT trends through interviews and expert analysis. Gain insight from top innovators and thought leaders in the fields of IT, business, enterprise software, startups, and more.

      Facebook
      Linkedin
      RSS
      Twitter
      Youtube

      Advertisers

      Advertise with TechnologyAdvice on eWeek and our other IT-focused platforms.

      Advertise with Us

      Menu

      • About eWeek
      • Subscribe to our Newsletter
      • Latest News

      Our Brands

      • Privacy Policy
      • Terms
      • About
      • Contact
      • Advertise
      • Sitemap
      • California – Do Not Sell My Information

      Property of TechnologyAdvice.
      © 2022 TechnologyAdvice. All Rights Reserved

      Advertiser Disclosure: Some of the products that appear on this site are from companies from which TechnologyAdvice receives compensation. This compensation may impact how and where products appear on this site including, for example, the order in which they appear. TechnologyAdvice does not include all companies or all types of products available in the marketplace.

      ×