Ol Blue Eyes Is Back

From: spencer_katt@ziffdavis.com

Sent: Monday, June 27, 2005 12:34 AM

To: eWEEK readers

Subject: From Rat Pack to Jack; a Mickey moment

“Luck be a lady tonight,” crooned El Gato, looking sharp in a black tux as he sauntered through the lobby of the Renaissance hotel, which touts the cool, confident style made famous by the Rat Pack. The Lucky Lynx, in Vegas for the Cisco Networkers conference, vowed revenge on the corporate travel office when he learned from hotel staffers that the Renaissance was a nongaming hotel. “Well, ring my Bell & Howell” was all the flummoxed Furball could say as he skatted across the driveway to the Las Vegas Convention Center.

As Cisco CEO John Chambers strolled the aisles, as usual, during his keynote, one attendee waved a stuffed Mickey Mouse doll behind his back. The audience chuckled, but Chambers seemed unaware of the shenanigans. Later, the Puss pondered whether folks see Ciscos CiscoWorks network management software family as a Mickey Mouse set of tools. After a session speaker said Ciscos own network operations team doesnt use it, the Kitty queried other users at the event and found a few who claimed they use it for inventory tracking but not much else.

Health Hero Networks Health Buddy machine, which asks questions to form a diagnosis, was shown during the keynote. The Health Buddy drew laughs when it asked the person performing the demo if he was stressed because the CEO was watching. “Maybe Cisco should build a robot named Law Buddy for its new partner, TIBCO,” cackled the Kitty. TIBCO, a business management software company that Cisco said would help it integrate its Application-Oriented Networking technology, has been racking up class-action lawsuits lately. As TIBCOs shares fall, investors are hollering that the company has provided them with inaccurate info, especially in regard to the integration of Staffware, a company it acquired last year.

At a session on Ciscos new 2700 Series Wireless Location Appliance, which can track mobile assets, Spence blamed the Vegas heat after he witnessed an attendee ask if it were possible to turn off the units location feature. A Cisco engineer rightly replied, “Uh, yes. Or you could just not buy a location appliance.” At that point, the ring-a-ding-ding Rumormonger retreated to Envy, the restaurant and lounge at his hotel, and ordered a Jack Daniels. There, the Kitty tossed a few back in memory of the passing of Jack St. Clair Kilby, 81, Nobel Prize winner, inventor of integrated circuits and co-inventor of the handheld calculator. Soon, the Katt was joined by a cuckoo crony who wondered if Oracle is trying to erase the memory of PeopleSoft. First it restored the JD Edwards brand to the products PeopleSoft had previously bought. Now the crony says he has heard PeopleSoft CRM referred to as Vantive, the name of the company PeopleSoft acquired to enter the CRM business. The tipsy Tabbys pal urged calling it a night after Spence waved his glass and demanded more “gasoline.” The Katt sneered, Sinatra-like, and joked to his crony, “Listen, Clyde, Ive got chunks of guys like you in my litter box.”