Close
  • Latest News
  • Cybersecurity
  • Big Data and Analytics
  • Cloud
  • Mobile
  • Networking
  • Storage
  • Applications
  • IT Management
  • Small Business
  • Development
  • Database
  • Servers
  • Android
  • Apple
  • Innovation
  • Blogs
  • PC Hardware
  • Reviews
  • Search Engines
  • Virtualization
Read Down
Sign in
Close
Welcome!Log into your account
Forgot your password?
Read Down
Password recovery
Recover your password
Close
Search
Menu
Search
  • Latest News
  • Cybersecurity
  • Big Data and Analytics
  • Cloud
  • Mobile
  • Networking
  • Storage
  • Applications
  • IT Management
  • Small Business
  • Development
  • Database
  • Servers
  • Android
  • Apple
  • Innovation
  • Blogs
  • PC Hardware
  • Reviews
  • Search Engines
  • Virtualization
More
    Home Applications
    • Applications

    Visible Man Hits Wall Street

    By
    Spencer F. Katt
    -
    June 5, 2006
    Share
    Facebook
    Twitter
    Linkedin

      If I was invisible, then I could just watch you in your room,” cackled the Clay Aiken-mocking Mouser. El Gato was giddy when he heard that the nanotech nabobs at Imperial College London were working with “meta-material” to try to create a stealthy “cloak of invisibility.” The nanotech material being developed would apparently bend light to make anyone wearing the fabric become invisible. “Id find a nice cozy corner in Pamela Andersons house and hunker down,” said Spence, as he dreamed of owning such a stealth suit.

      The prurient Puss was soon startled by the clarion call of the KattPhone. The caller was a bullish buddy who told Spence that during Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmers chat with Wall Street analysts, Ballmer jokingly acknowledged his famous “Monkey Boy” developer video, but he assured the crowd that he wouldnt start yelling, “Investors, investors, investors.” Ballmer did say that Microsofts digital plans for the next 10 years will make paper and pencils obsolete. “Yeah, Im still waiting on Bill Gates 2004 prediction that spam would be solved in two years,” laughed the Lynx. Meanwhile, Gates himself attended The Wall Street Journals D:4 All Things Digital conference in Carlsbad, Calif., where he dropped several hints that Microsoft may be launching a handheld device in the next year or so, said the Baron of Babbles buddy.

      Bidding his bud adieu, Spence considered trying to create his own invisibility cloak by wrapping foil around an old afghan but sensibly skatted off to work instead. There, a crony told him that Michael Dell recently visited Dells Winston-Salem, N.C., facility. The 7-month-old plant currently employs more than 1,000 workers. “Operations in Winston-Salem are rapidly becoming our most efficient,” said Dell of the facility. Sadly, noted Spence, in another sector of the tech galaxy, Gateway has announced that its closing down its Kansas City, Mo., operations early this summer. The companys 130 Kansas City employees have been given notice, and the sales and service functions they perform will be absorbed by the companys South Dakota facility.

      Still wishing he was invisible, Spence decided to disappear for a long lunch with a crony at Coogans bar in Beantown. Over some brewskis, the pal told Spence that CA is offering a free version of its eTrust EZ Antivirus software to folks who plan on using Microsoft Windows Vista. “Sounds like getting an inoculation before you head off into the jungle,” groused the Grimalkin.

      The pal also told Spence that Morgan Stanley recently filed a complaint with the National Arbitration Forum against “Meow,” a pseudonym for a Michael Woods who registered the domain name MyMorganStanleyPlatinum.com. According to NAF documents, Woods defense was highly original: “Respondent alleges that it (Meow) is a cat (sic: the domestic pet). According to Respondent, it allows Mr. Woods (a human) to use the domain name registration in providing a service.” Despite Woods feline fabrication, the NAF ruled in favor of Morgan Stanley. “Youre the man now, dog,” tittered the Tabby.

      LitterBoxLynx

      wikimapia.org

      thenormanrockwellcode.com

      swarmthe.com

      And dont forget me at blog.ziffdavis.com/katt

      Avatar
      Spencer F. Katt
      Spencer F. Katt, the Whiskered Wonder, has been the mascot and tipster extraordinaire for eWEEK and its predecessor print publication PC Week since 1984. The Gadabout Gatto makes the rounds of the high tech centers of the U.S. and beyond in search of news and gossip about the products, companies and people that keep the IT industry in top gear. By day he can often be found padding about the exhibit halls and briefing rooms searching for tips about the latest breakthrough products. By night he haunts the sushi bars and watering holes his ears alert to the merest whisper about a big round of venture capital funding or a blockbuster corporate buyout. The often tart-tongued tabby is always ready to share his own views about the inside stories behind the headlines. 

      MOST POPULAR ARTICLES

      Android

      Samsung Galaxy XCover Pro: Durability for Tough...

      Chris Preimesberger - December 5, 2020 0
      Have you ever dropped your phone, winced and felt the pain as it hit the sidewalk? Either the screen splintered like a windshield being...
      Read more
      Cloud

      Why Data Security Will Face Even Harsher...

      Chris Preimesberger - December 1, 2020 0
      Who would know more about details of the hacking process than an actual former career hacker? And who wants to understand all they can...
      Read more
      Cybersecurity

      How Veritas Is Shining a Light Into...

      eWEEK EDITORS - September 25, 2020 0
      Protecting data has always been one of the most important tasks in all of IT, yet as more companies become data companies at the...
      Read more
      Big Data and Analytics

      How NVIDIA A100 Station Brings Data Center...

      Zeus Kerravala - November 18, 2020 0
      There’s little debate that graphics processor unit manufacturer NVIDIA is the de facto standard when it comes to providing silicon to power machine learning...
      Read more
      Apple

      Why iPhone 12 Pro Makes Sense for...

      Wayne Rash - November 26, 2020 0
      If you’ve been watching the Apple commercials for the past three weeks, you already know what the company thinks will happen if you buy...
      Read more
      eWeek


      Contact Us | About | Sitemap

      Facebook
      Linkedin
      RSS
      Twitter
      Youtube

      Property of TechnologyAdvice.
      Terms of Service | Privacy Notice | Advertise | California - Do Not Sell My Information

      © 2021 TechnologyAdvice. All Rights Reserved

      Advertiser Disclosure: Some of the products that appear on this site are from companies from which TechnologyAdvice receives compensation. This compensation may impact how and where products appear on this site including, for example, the order in which they appear. TechnologyAdvice does not include all companies or all types of products available in the marketplace.

      ×