Dear Network: Remember Just How Lucky You Are

SolarWinds asked network administrators in its Thwack community to ‘write’ to their networks expressing why they’re lucky to have them attending to their needs.

Dear Network,

Are you lucky to have me? That’s an understatement. I even solve the issues you create when I’m on vacation.

Best,

Laptop Tan Lines

Dear Network,

You know you’re not the easiest to manage, right? I mean, the packet loss alone—come on. So, you’re lucky to have me as your administrator because I keep you humming along nicely, not to mention that your cabling is always so neat and tidy. Not only that, but I remove redundant gear to keep you nice and lean (and the data center cool), and I always fix your issues swiftly and efficiently. Wow, you really are lucky to have me.

With love,

Your Ultra-organized NetAdmin

Dear Network,

I’m not the one who is ultimately responsible for your performance, but I am the guy who pushes your limits and boundaries. I just want to say that you should be glad to have the administrators who take such good care of you. (I’m a big fan of theirs, too.) They are always there for you and consistently have your best interests in mind (even if I don’t).

Cheers,

Everyone Else

Dear Network,

I have been there for you from the beginning and have never left your side. I can remember the first time I ever heard the word Cisco and thought to myself, “Why are we buying food products?” Yeah, I’ve been in the business that long. You are lucky to have me as your administrator because I constantly watch over you. I monitor any needs that arise and give you checkups to keep you running smoothly. We make a great team.

Sincerely,

Your NetAdmin BFF

Dear Network,

It has been a long road, hasn’t it? We’ve been through a lot together and delivered an enormous amount of data to large groups of people. So, why are you so lucky to have me? Well, I guess it’s because no one else cares about your success like I do. Plus, who would stick up for you when some business group says, “It’s the network’s fault”? I know it’s really you who does all of the difficult stuff, so I guess you can think of me as your press secretary. I know we’ll do great things together in the future, and don’t worry, I’ll continue to defend you to the outsiders.

Always thinking of you,

Over-protective NetAdmin

Dear Network,

With all of the malicious activity happening lately, you’re very lucky to have me. For example, remember that cryptolocker scare? I was the one who stood up and said: “I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills that I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my data go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will delete you.” I’m always here to defend you against the evil in the world. Hopefully, one day end users will stop abusing you so we can finally relax.

With love,

Liam Network

Dear Network,

Our relationship has certainly been a roller coaster, hasn’t it? Yet, I always show you love and you’ve been there for me, too. You’ve become like a sun that never sets, and even your speed is improving. However, don’t forget that without me, you would fail. Remember that time the power went out and we lost a config? Two and a half days went by, and I thought you were dead. But there I was, day and night without sleep trying to revive you. Yes, there’s no doubt we’ve become even closer through it all—I know I’m more than just an admin to you, and you’re certainly more than just a node to me. But do me a favor: Try to stay in check a bit more so I can do my other jobs, too.

All my love,

Overwhelmed Jack-of-All-Trades

Dearest Network:

Sure you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who’s willing to sacrifice his or her own family time and personal life like me. I’m in early, stay late, and work on weekends and holidays. Five 9s (99.999 percent uptime) is what we want.

Yours truly,

The IT Pro