Earth to Spencer …

From: spencer_katt@ziffdavis.com

Sent: Monday, April 18, 2005 12:59 AM

To: eWEEK readers

Subject: Larrys space program is out of this world—as is evidence of the Retek bidding war

“Ground control to Major Tom,” chanted the Mouser, attempting to mimic David Bowies baritone vocal as he listened to the spaced-out dirge “Space Oddity.” Suddenly, the Lynx lurched off his launchpad when the KattPhone, set on vibrate, startled the cosmic Kitty. The caller was a crony at an Oracle Technology Day conference in D.C. who said he and other attendees were chuckling over Oracles suborbital space-ride contest, which runs until May 31. The contest will award a lucky developer a trip on Burt Rutans SpaceShipOne. “Of course, if Larry Ellison finds out the winning developers Oracle software licenses arent current, the ride could be one-way!” laughed the crony.

Spence then wondered if Larry may have already borrowed SpaceShipOne and used it to blast some press releases from Reteks Web site into space. Oracle outbid SAP for Retek earlier this month, but according to a friend of the Furball, all press releases stating that SAP had agreed to buy the company have disappeared from Reteks online press-release archive.

The pal noted that several of the announcements “missing” from Reteks site can still be found on LexisNexis. One such release, dated March 17, says Reteks board recommended SAPs offer of $11 a share to stockholders. “Maybe Larry isnt happy to just blow the competition away but would rather erase all memory of them,” cackled the Kitty.

The Katt began digging through his old periodicals to see if he had a copy of Electronics magazine from April 19, 1965. Intel is willing to pay $10,000 for that issue because it features the first printed appearance of Moores Law . The KattPhone rang again just as a stack of old TV Guides fell on top of the rat-packing Katt. It was a pal who claimed the word on the street is that BMC, which recently announced its laying off 12 percent of its workers, may also be hitting a wall with its long-standing flagship product, the Patrol management suite. For the last two years, Patrols sales have not hit expectations.

Finding no trace of the electronics mag in his junk, El Gato pursued a tip that Computer Associates has submitted its KGEM (Kernel Generalized Event Management) for inclusion in the Linux kernel. CA hopes it can promote interest in the technology at the Linux Kernel Developers Summit this July in Ottawa, a high-ranking CA official told the Tabby. Andrew Morton, the current maintainer of the Linux 2.6 kernel, told His Hirsuteness that KGEM “hasnt had a lot of visibility, and other people are working on event-notification technologies as well. If CA can help us understand what it does and why at the summit, that would be good.” Only time will tell whether CA is embraced by the penguin pack or just gets the bird, mused the Mouser.