10 Things They Believe in Silicon Valley but Nowhere Else

10 Things They Believe in Silicon Valley but Nowhere Else

10 Things They Believe in Silicon Valley but Nowhere Else
Written By
eWEEK EDITORS
eWEEK EDITORS
May 28, 2012
2 minute read
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10 Things They Believe in Silicon Valley but Nowhere Else

10 Things They Believe in Silicon Valley but Nowhere Else

By Michael Vizard

Editorial Director

Ziff-Davis Enterprise


10 Things They Believe in Silicon Valley but Nowhere Else – SAAS Dominates All

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Every Sunday they go to church to listen to the latest software-as-a-service sermon from Marc Benioff, CEO of Salesforce.com.


10 Things They Believe in Silicon Valley but Nowhere Else – Google Is Always Good

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Google has no interest in dominating markets the way every other company with more than 80 percent market share has done before, because in California absolute power doesn’t corrupt absolutely.


10 Things They Believe in Silicon Valley but Nowhere Else – Microsoft Is Irrelevant

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Microsoft is so large, bloated and morally bankrupt that it can no longer compete effectively.


10 Things They Believe in Silicon Valley but Nowhere Else – IBM Is Shill for Consulting

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Despite the fact that IBM sells billions of dollars in software and hardware, its only real ambition is to fuel overpriced consulting hours for the people who work for IBM Global Consulting.


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10 Things They Believe in Silicon Valley but Nowhere Else – EMC Is the Home of the Disaffected

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EMC workers are all New Englanders who used to work for Digital Equipment Corp. and Data General and are still angry about the demise of the minicomputer.


10 Things They Believe in Silicon Valley but Nowhere Else – Larry Ellison Is Really Patton

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It’s our God-given right to dominate the enterprise application space at the expense of rigid German SAP programmers that are clearly totalitarian in their approach to software.


10 Things They Believe in Silicon Valley but Nowhere Else – We’re All Going to Get Rich

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No one’s shares will ever be under water again and losses associated with irrational exuberance were an East Coast conspiracy led by the Federal Reserve Bank.


10 Things They Believe in Silicon Valley but Nowhere Else – We Can Create Another Billion-Dollar Company

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Despite what everyone else thinks, the companies we create are not merely research and development projects that have been outsourced by Cisco, Sun, Oracle and others who will acquire them when they see fit.


10 Things They Believe in Silicon Valley but Nowhere Else – What Power Crisis?

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The fact that processors continue to consume more amounts of costly power is not going to reduce server sales because Al Gore lost the presidential election, so everything he says about energy is conveniently wrong.


10 Things They Believe in Silicon Valley but Nowhere Else – Web 2.0 Rules All

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This is a return to the one true Internet religion focused on giving total freedom to users who want to own their own data. The original religion was corrupted by East Coast bankers that compromised with the Wall Street financial analyst community.


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10 Things They Believe in Silicon Valley but Nowhere Else – See More Slideshows Like This One

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