Breaking Up Is Hard to Do; Just Ask Wyly

From plans for world domination to speculation that Bill Gates can see you in the shower—it seems there has never been a shortage of conspiracy theories inspired by Microsoft and its products. So, naturally, Spencer was amused to hear that a very senior Redmond exec actually came up with a conspiracy theory of his own—that the Democrats are continuing their crusade against the company to keep the economy weak and thus boost the partys chances in next years Senate and House elections.

A friend of the Furball said the Microsoft exec claimed over dinner with analysts recently that Sen. Charles Schumers, D-N.Y., attempt to get federal and state trustbusters to delay XPs release is due to the fact that the Dems want a weak economy next year—noting that a weak economy does not favor the party in power. Spencer adjusted his aluminum foil beanie, which actually blocks thought rays beamed at his skull from the Pentagon, and pondered the theory. After enduring an antitrust investigation and trial launched by a Clinton- appointed Department of Justice, Schumers attack probably does seem like the party line to the Redmondians. “Hey, never underestimate the intelligence of the average voter,” cackled the Kitty. “Why, youd have to be knee-deep in chads not to see through a smoke screen like that.”

A Katt crony in the know was chatting recently with His Hirsuteness about Sam Wylys attempt to take over Computer Associates by convincing stockholders that CA is “cooking its books.” According to the friend of the Furry One, in his proxy bid to wrest control of CA from its current management, Wyly commissioned a study that strongly suggested that CA customers are not very happy. But the survey results, posted on his Web site and in the initial proxy filing with the SEC, disappeared from the site and from the formal proxy statement filed later. Nobody is sure why, but the Tabby tattler speculated that the SEC may have made Wyly remove it because the results were either too suspect or deemed intentionally damaging to CAs stock price.

As an entrepreneur, Wyly certainly appears to have a flair for the dramatic. Checking out his Web site—www.samwyly.com—Spencer stared impatiently at a dashing painting of the man himself while having to listen to annoying music as the site downloaded. Tooling through the site, El Gato could see why the CA folks working on the deal to acquire his outfit, Sterling Software, last year took to calling the companys Dallas headquarters the “Marble Palace.”

“So, whats his real motivation in trying to take control of CA?” the Tawny Titan asked the tipster. Certainly some of Wylys claims that CAs been mismanaged and that he and his handpicked slate of board nominees can do better for shareholders and employees sometimes seems almost libelous. The inside speculation about his motivations, according to the Furballs friend, is that he really wants to split CA into four companies and sell them off separately at a handsome profit.

“Mmm, a guy that may want to split up a big tech company, and hes not even a Democrat,” laughed the Lynx, noting Wylys strong ties with a fellow Texan called Dubya.