Close
  • Latest News
  • Artificial Intelligence
  • Big Data and Analytics
  • Cloud
  • Networking
  • Cybersecurity
  • Applications
  • IT Management
  • Storage
  • Sponsored
  • Mobile
  • Small Business
  • Development
  • Database
  • Servers
  • Android
  • Apple
  • Innovation
  • Blogs
  • PC Hardware
  • Reviews
  • Search Engines
  • Virtualization
Read Down
Sign in
Close
Welcome!Log into your account
Forgot your password?
Read Down
Password recovery
Recover your password
Close
Search
Logo
Logo
  • Latest News
  • Artificial Intelligence
  • Big Data and Analytics
  • Cloud
  • Networking
  • Cybersecurity
  • Applications
  • IT Management
  • Storage
  • Sponsored
  • Mobile
  • Small Business
  • Development
  • Database
  • Servers
  • Android
  • Apple
  • Innovation
  • Blogs
  • PC Hardware
  • Reviews
  • Search Engines
  • Virtualization
More
    Home Cybersecurity
    • Cybersecurity

    Ballmer Stirs Crowd With Monster Mash

    By
    Spencer F. Katt
    -
    August 13, 2001
    Share
    Facebook
    Twitter
    Linkedin

      Images of “Young Frankenstein” came rushing back to the Whiskered One last week as he watched a video clip of Steve Ballmer that was making its way around the Web.

      The footage shows Ballmer, who bears an uncanny resemblance to Peter Boyles monster in Mel Brooks classic comedy, bursting onto an auditorium stage after being announced at a recent company rally. Instead of walking directly to the podium, Ballmer skipped past it, whooping and hollering and waving his arms up and down, at one point yelling, “Give it up for me!”—all as the song “Get On Your Feet” blared from speakers.

      The skipping quickly turned into an awkward hop-jog when, in making a second pass in front of the podium, he stubbed his foot, causing him to scream again, this time in pain. In true show biz fashion, however, the show went on. The lively, if not disturbing, display then morphed into a brisk march around the stage, with Ballmer frowning deep into the audience and pointing to the upper rows in the kind of bonding exercise usually reserved for heavy metal bands and wrestlers named Mankind.

      He wound up back at the podium after a few more seconds and screamed into the microphone with a grin, “Who said to sit down?” After catching his breath, he screamed again into the mike, “I got four words for ya: I love this company! Yes!”

      The Creeped-Out Kitty shivered a little before muttering to himself, “I got four words for you, too, Steve-o: Get a grip, man!”

      Actually, while Ballmer looks like Boyle, his act on stage was more like Tim Roths Gen. Thade in the “Planet of the Apes” remake. The general was literally climbing the walls getting his troops motivated to go after the competition—er, humans.

      The Code Red worm may have a lot of IT managers beating their chest and swinging from the suspended ceilings as well. Many admins have been complaining that theyve had problems installing Microsofts patch for the Code Red vulnerability, the Kitty learned. They say that servers can freeze during the reboot after they install the patch, which makes them wonder if the patch was actually applied.

      In the “cost-cutting continues” column, the Tabby heard that Lucent is unscrewing every other light bulb to try to lower electricity costs. But cant they find someone else besides their highly paid engineering staff to climb up on their desks and unscrew the bulbs?

      Word from a Katt confidant is that when Adobe isnt chasing after hackers, it is allegedly putting the screws to its user group program. The cuts have prompted a grass-roots e-mail campaign to company President and CEO Bruce Chizen calling for the reinstatement of the program along with its popular leader, Louise Miller. Next controversy, please?

      On a final note, whats up with all this 20-year anniversary of the PC nonsense? Sure, its 20 years since IBM rolled the first one off its assembly line, but hackers were tinkering with personal computers for years before that magical day in 1981. The computing industry as we know it today was born on workbenches in Albuquerque, N.M., and Silicon Valley in the mid-70s. Long before the IBM PC, there were a couple of boxes known as the Altair and the Apple II. Remember?

      Spencer F. Katt
      Spencer F. Katt, the Whiskered Wonder, has been the mascot and tipster extraordinaire for eWEEK and its predecessor print publication PC Week since 1984. The Gadabout Gatto makes the rounds of the high tech centers of the U.S. and beyond in search of news and gossip about the products, companies and people that keep the IT industry in top gear. By day he can often be found padding about the exhibit halls and briefing rooms searching for tips about the latest breakthrough products. By night he haunts the sushi bars and watering holes his ears alert to the merest whisper about a big round of venture capital funding or a blockbuster corporate buyout. The often tart-tongued tabby is always ready to share his own views about the inside stories behind the headlines. 
      Get the Free Newsletter!
      Subscribe to Daily Tech Insider for top news, trends & analysis
      This email address is invalid.
      Get the Free Newsletter!
      Subscribe to Daily Tech Insider for top news, trends & analysis
      This email address is invalid.

      MOST POPULAR ARTICLES

      Latest News

      Zeus Kerravala on Networking: Multicloud, 5G, and...

      James Maguire - December 16, 2022 0
      I spoke with Zeus Kerravala, industry analyst at ZK Research, about the rapid changes in enterprise networking, as tech advances and digital transformation prompt...
      Read more
      Applications

      Datadog President Amit Agarwal on Trends in...

      James Maguire - November 11, 2022 0
      I spoke with Amit Agarwal, President of Datadog, about infrastructure observability, from current trends to key challenges to the future of this rapidly growing...
      Read more
      Applications

      Kyndryl’s Nicolas Sekkaki on Handling AI and...

      James Maguire - November 9, 2022 0
      I spoke with Nicolas Sekkaki, Group Practice Leader for Applications, Data and AI at Kyndryl, about how companies can boost both their AI and...
      Read more
      Cloud

      IGEL CEO Jed Ayres on Edge and...

      James Maguire - June 14, 2022 0
      I spoke with Jed Ayres, CEO of IGEL, about the endpoint sector, and an open source OS for the cloud; we also spoke about...
      Read more
      IT Management

      Intuit’s Nhung Ho on AI for the...

      James Maguire - May 13, 2022 0
      I spoke with Nhung Ho, Vice President of AI at Intuit, about adoption of AI in the small and medium-sized business market, and how...
      Read more
      Logo

      eWeek has the latest technology news and analysis, buying guides, and product reviews for IT professionals and technology buyers. The site’s focus is on innovative solutions and covering in-depth technical content. eWeek stays on the cutting edge of technology news and IT trends through interviews and expert analysis. Gain insight from top innovators and thought leaders in the fields of IT, business, enterprise software, startups, and more.

      Facebook
      Linkedin
      RSS
      Twitter
      Youtube

      Advertisers

      Advertise with TechnologyAdvice on eWeek and our other IT-focused platforms.

      Advertise with Us

      Menu

      • About eWeek
      • Subscribe to our Newsletter
      • Latest News

      Our Brands

      • Privacy Policy
      • Terms
      • About
      • Contact
      • Advertise
      • Sitemap
      • California – Do Not Sell My Information

      Property of TechnologyAdvice.
      © 2022 TechnologyAdvice. All Rights Reserved

      Advertiser Disclosure: Some of the products that appear on this site are from companies from which TechnologyAdvice receives compensation. This compensation may impact how and where products appear on this site including, for example, the order in which they appear. TechnologyAdvice does not include all companies or all types of products available in the marketplace.

      ×