More Misadventures From Bill and Bill

Spencer wondered if the post-presidential lecture circuit would make Bill Clinton enough cash to finally buy furniture for his New York digs.

Spencer wondered if the post-presidential lecture circuit would make Bill Clinton enough cash to finally buy furniture for his New York digs. One of Clintons first speaking engagements finds the ex-prez delivering the opening keynote at the Oracle AppsWorld show in New Orleans this week.

A trusty Tabby tattler tells El Gato that Citizen Bill was added to the speaker roster of the Oracle conference in The Big Easy to shore up attendance at the slow-selling event. According to the Katt crony, Slick Willys appearance at AppsWorld may very well be payback for Oracle CEO Larry Ellisons hiring of former Clinton White House Press Secretary Joe Lockhart as a senior manager last November. Lockhart remained loyal to Clinton throughout Monicagate, when he was then deputy press secretary.

A buzz has also begun that Clinton may be asked to join Oracles board of directors.

"That boardroom will look like the old Playboy After Dark show if Bill and Larry start hanging out together," laughed the Lynx.

His Hirsuteness has been scratching his head over remarks made by Ellisons chief rival, Bill Gates, as of late. When Chairman Bill announced XP last week and referred to it as the most significant product announcement since Windows 95, the Puss thought, "Thats odd, considering the XP event had less than a hundred people in attendance."

Gates then previewed the product on the latest Beta 1 build, which isnt currently feature-complete—another unusual move for the Remond folk.

Also surprising was how mum Gates was during the hourlong presentation about the companys .Net software-as-a-service strategy—on which Microsoft is pinning its future growth.

According to friends of the Furry One, there was a heated debate within Microsoft about how much .Net detail to divulge at the conference. It was decided, they said, to focus on elements most compelling to consumers—like new photo, video and music functions.

Strangely, not much detail was given on the business version of the product, which the Katt has heard will contain much the same feature set as the home version. "Maybe the Redmond marketing folks could generate more interest by changing the XP to ZD," thought Spencer. "Zero Defects!"

The Furry Feline has noticed a brewing trend in IT spending. Seems hes hearing more and more about companies lessening the role of their CIOs by extending purchasing power to line-of-business managers.

The latest example, according to a Tabby Tipster, happened recently at the Long Island, N.Y., company CableVision. There, the tipster said, in addition to losing control of the companys purchasing decisions, the CIO now has to compete internally with LOB managers for control over data management.

A new potential health hazard attributed to mobile phone use left the ponderous Puss puzzled.

Doctors in Taipei reportedly had to surgically remove a Nokia 8850 phone from a 20-year-old womans backside. It seems the woman and her boyfriend had become enthralled with the phones vibrating feature. In the ensuing hi-jinks, she suddenly found herself unable to make any outgoing calls. "Me-ouch," moaned the Mouser.

Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt, the Whiskered Wonder, has been the mascot and tipster extraordinaire for eWEEK and its predecessor print publication PC Week since 1984. The Gadabout Gatto makes the rounds of...