Platinum Platter Puss

Channeling Elvis: rumors, lyrics fly from outback to Memphis

Rock-a-hula, baby," sang the Kitty, King-like, when he heard rumors were flying around Hawaii that Michael Dells MSD Capital and a fellow investment group might be looking to purchase the Four Seasons Resort Hualalai along the Kona coast. The Hirsute Hula Boy remembered hearing that MSD Capital scooped up the Four Seasons Resort Maui at Wailea in 2004, so adding another Hawaiian hotel to the portfolio wouldnt be a stretch—even if it is rumored to be worth more than $500 million. Maybe Dell should consider opening up a manufacturing facility in Hawaii, too, mused the Maui Meower.

The American Electronics Association placed Hawaii 47th in its annual survey that rates tech industry job opportunities by state. Montana, North Dakota, Alaska, South Dakota and Wyoming filled out the AEAs bottom six. Hawaii ranks 27th for tech salaries, though, as an average Hawaiian tech worker brings home about 61,216 coconuts a year. California, Texas, New York, Florida and Virginia were rated the top five states for high-tech job opportunities.


Suddenly, the KattPhones new ring tone, "Separate Ways," by Elvis, heralded a caller who told the tabby that CAs COO Jeff Clarke has parted ways with the Islandia, N.Y., company. Clarke will head up Cendants travel distribution division. Michael Christenson, CAs executive vice president of strategy and business development, will reportedly replace Clarke as COO. Bidding the caller adieu, the Baron of Babble belted out "Money Honey" as he fielded an e-mail from a friend who said Intuit scared scores of Turbo Tax users when it refreshed its servers for about 20 minutes on tax day. Apparently, the company anticipated volume on its system to increase as the day wore on and decided to reboot its system to prevent a slowdown. "Can you imagine how traumatized tardy tax filers were for those 20 minutes?" pondered the Puss.

Still feeling his inner Elvis, the famished Furball decided to fulfill his craving for cheeseburgers at Outback Steakhouse. There, the Furry One was amused by an Aussie waiter who claimed that the Australian Security Intelligence Organisation has reportedly tried using Googles sponsored ad links to tout employment opportunities to Web surfers who browse keywords related to the agency. Just as El Gato was about to chomp into a big hunka, hunka burger, a crony called to note that HP CEO Mark Hurd told attendees at the Outlook Conference in San Jose, Calif., at which the Governator also spoke, that the company may use some of the cash it amassed in 2005 to hit the acquisition trail—and that it wont sell its PC business.

Returning to his feast, the Katt hummed "Baby, Lets Play House" as he dreamed about something hed like to acquire: Elvis pre-Graceland home, bought at the beginning of his career in Memphis, is available for bid on eBay until May 14. "Mmm, maybe I could auction my first scratching post on eBay," cackled the Kitty. "Theres a lot of history there."

Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt, the Whiskered Wonder, has been the mascot and tipster extraordinaire for eWEEK and its predecessor print publication PC Week since 1984. The Gadabout Gatto makes the rounds of...