Jerky Day

Stuffing the column; tipping the server

Sent: Monday, November 22, 2004 12:47 AM
To: eWEEK readers
Subject: Stuffing the column; tipping the server

"Procrastination, thy name is Puss!" Once again, the Furball found himself alone in his cubicle, attempting to pound out his column before the Thanksgiving holiday. "Discipline, I need more discipline," the Lynx lamented, while hunting and pecking at his PC keyboard and watching a DVD on his hard drive.

His editors having abandoned him with instructions on how to ship his column to the printer, Spence envied his fellow employees ability to focus, collaborate and do the job. A smile split his face, however, as he recalled an episode at IBMs recent Lotus software division launch that showed how pervasive collaboration can be. A laptop used for the presentation was part of an internal IBM IM network for employees who deal with collaboration products, so, natch, the presentation was often interrupted by workers IMs. Even better, the messages were delivered by knowledge management product prototypes being tested by IBM, known as FreeJam and SkillTap, that use the IM interface. Spence made a note to look for them in Workplace.

Spences screen froze as a server bit the dust. Oh, no! The Kitty was finding his column mojo and didnt want to spend another turkey day eating beef jerky at his desk. As he dialed his IT managers home, he remembered to mention in his column that Lotus flagship Domino product line is set for a big comeback at Januarys Lotusphere 2005 conference. Version 7 of Domino, which will have new Java development capabilities and DB2 support, is expected to be announced at the event.

Unable to reach his IT guru, who was, as any sane person would be, visiting relatives for the holiday, Spence ventured into the eWEEK server room armed with a hammer, pliers and a screwdriver. As he tilted and shook the server, the KattPhones new ring tone, "Turkey in the Straw," stopped the tool-toting Tabby dead in his tracks. The caller was a crony who claimed that Computer Associates recent restructuring of its channel sales organization and the announcement of its new online sales site had stirred concern among its standing partners. CAs executive vice president of sales, Gary Quinn, is busy allaying fears that the moves will bring the company into direct competition with its partners, the pal prattled. The crony also claimed Quinn was rumored to have been in line for CAs COO position just before CEO Sanjay Kumar was forced out. Now, CFO Jeff Clarke currently multitasks as COO, and Quinn, reportedly a former FOS (Friend of Sanjay), has been handed the non-fast-track chore of helping implement CAs global sales restructuring by the beginning of the companys next fiscal year in April.

"Is there a button to restart our server?" the Katt queried the crony, who laughed and hung up. Sighed Spence, "I wonder how Gravy Master tastes on microwave popcorn?"

Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt, the Whiskered Wonder, has been the mascot and tipster extraordinaire for eWEEK and its predecessor print publication PC Week since 1984. The Gadabout Gatto makes the rounds of...