Katt Scans

Reveling in Sun-HP blogjam; reading packets and minds

From: spencer_katt@ziffdavis.com

Sent: Monday, December 13, 2004 12:40 AM

To: eWEEK readers

Subject: Reveling in Sun-HP blogjam; reading packets and minds

Spence stared at his monitor as he tried to move the cursor with his mind. The telekinetic Tabby was totally pumped after hearing that experiments conducted by the New York State Department of Health and The State University of New York, in Albany, that utilized a computer algorithm to translate scalp-recorded electroencephalograms had enabled human brain signals to move a cursor back and forth. Could the ability to juggle a beverage and a snack while engaging in hands-free Web surfing—all without messy brain implants—be closer to reality than Spence had dreamed? The loopy Lynx removed his tinfoil beanie when the KattPhones new ring tone, John Lennons "Mind Games," broke his concentration.


The caller said the war of words between Sun Microsystems and Hewlett-Packard is escalating. In a recent blog entry, Sun Chief Operating Officer and President Jonathan Schwartz dissed HP for abandoning plans to port Tru64 Unix products to HP-UX. Schwartz said one HP user told him, "Increasingly, HP is like Lucy with the football, and, frankly, Im tired of feeling like Charlie Brown." Schwartz said HP is becoming a company focused on distributing other peoples technology. "The OS wars are down to ... Microsoft Windows, Suns Solaris and Red Hats Linux," decreed Schwartz.

According to the grudge drudge, countering this type of FUD is next years top priority for Efrain Rovira, HPs worldwide director of Linux marketing. "HP did not want its own Linux distribution or to create the impression that it supported Linux over the other platforms," Rovira said. "Such a move would destroy the competitive value we have by not offering our own distribution." Regarding HP-UX, Rovira said HP will continue to support the product, but, unlike Sun, will not try to steer users away from Linux and toward its own Unix product. Bidding his pal adieu, the parapsychological Tabby tried moving his coffee cup with his mind. He then blurted to no one in particular, "Jeopardy brainiac Ken Jennings has been hired to shill this Microsoft product." And he replied to his cubicle wall: "What is the Encarta Reference Library Premium 2005?"

After failing to forge an out-of-fur experience and project his mind to Ciscos analyst conference in Santa Clara, Calif., the Furball phoned a friend at the event and heard Cisco was touting its CRS-1 router, despite some attendees whispers about jitter problems, which can affect VOIP traffic. Later, the Grifter of Gab didnt need ESP to divine a waitresss ire as he tried to telepathically order a brew. There, a pal told him Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer said he misspoke when he said Bill Gates gets 4 million spam messages daily. "Its 4 million a year," Ballmer told Detroit Free Press columnist Mike Wendland. "With Ballmer, you need to be a mind reader," cackled the Kitty.

Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt, the Whiskered Wonder, has been the mascot and tipster extraordinaire for eWEEK and its predecessor print publication PC Week since 1984. The Gadabout Gatto makes the rounds of...