Open Warfare

Redmond psy-ops; counterfeit Oracle


Sent: Monday, November 29, 2004 12:39 AM

To: eWEEK readers

Subject: Redmond psy-ops; counterfeit Oracle

"Everybodys takin care of business!" laughed the Lynx. Whether it was the melee among the Pistons, Pacers and fans or President Bush diving into a pile of Chilean guards to extract a detained U.S. Secret Service agent, it seemed as if the whole world was brawling. "Thank goodness things are more civilized in the high-tech trade," mused the Mouser.


Even the staid WTO might look like the WWE if theres any real punch to Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmers trash talking. He cited an Open Source Risk Management report that Linux may violate 228 patents in remarks to the Asian Government Leaders Forum. The report claimed there are 283 issued, but not validated, patents touching technology upon which Linux might infringe. Ballmers FUD-filled follow-up statement, "Someday, for all countries that are entering the WTO, somebody will come and look for money owing to the rights for that intellectual property," took a pounding in a rebuttal on the OSRM site (www.osriskmanagement. com). The statement asserted the number of potential infringements against untested patents is about the same as that for any commercial software package of similar size and that, unlike commercial packages, no free open-source package has ever been sued for infringement.

The prattling Palooka swore he heard a ringside bell ding as he noted that Pamela Jones, the journalist and paralegal who runs the anti-SCO site, has quit her other position as director of litigation risk at OSRM. Jones said a recent SCO roadshow had made statements that "twisted my relationship with OSRM to say that it proved that I believe there are substantial IP risks in Linux." To keep SCO from further using her OSRM affiliation as an issue, Jones resigned from the organization, saying, "Money is nice, but integrity is everything." The KattPhones new ring tone, "Gonna Fly Now," broke the pugilistic Puss reverie. The caller said Hewlett-Packard will make a big security announcement involving its entire product line in an upcoming Webcast. Downing a raw egg, the Tawny Titan declared, "Its time I got back down to my fighting weight." The tough-talking Tabby went jogging but collapsed less than 30 feet from eWEEK headquarters. Laying on the sidewalk, he overheard two office-park dwellers discussing a defunct Oracle certification training Web site called It seems the Better Business Bureau got many complaints against the Web sites owner, Ed Haskins, concerning delivery issues and refund practices. El Gato cackled after overhearing that Haskins was also running a Web site called, which offered the services of an Oracle security consultant named Robert Allen—who was just a stock-photo model with a faux bio. "Sounds like those training sessions were about as successful as mine," snickered the Stumblebum of Scuttlebutt. The champ decided the only rounds hed be capable of enduring would be at a local watering hole.

Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt, the Whiskered Wonder, has been the mascot and tipster extraordinaire for eWEEK and its predecessor print publication PC Week since 1984. The Gadabout Gatto makes the rounds of...