Paranoia Kills a Lovelorn Katt

Intel jilted; a Weise move; 43 Things


Sent: Monday, February 14, 2005 12:51 AM

To: eWEEK readers

Subject: Intel jilted; a Weise move; 43 Things

"Cupid, draw back your bow," Spence crooned along with Sam Cooke as he pondered spending another Valentines Day alone.

"Romance and rumors dont mix," laughed the love-challenged Lynx as he answered the KattPhone, hoping it might mean companionship.

Alas, it was a tipster who said the love affair between Intel and Microsoft has been on shaky ground since AMD announced that Redmond will use Opteron-based servers from HP in all its Microsoft Technology Centers in North America, Europe and Asia.


Hell hath no fury like a chip maker scorned, and the news particularly riled Intel execs because the vendor could have accommodated Microsoft with its new Xeon chips with the same 64-bit capability as the Opteron.

Intel execs complained to Microsoft, the tipster said, reportedly taking their case to Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer. "Its gonna take more than a box of bonbons to smooth that over," cackled the Kitty.

The tipster also tattled that Microsoft vet David Weise has parted ways with the company.

Weise is lauded as having been essential to the success of Windows 3.0. He, along with Nathan Myhrvold, was a founder of Dynamical Systems Research, which Microsoft bought in 1986.

From there, Weise helped Microsoft think outside the OS/2 box and run Windows apps in protected mode.

He then broke through DOS 640KB memory limit and ran multiple DOS apps in virtual x86 machines, thus abetting Redmonds world domination. Weise will return to his roots in molecular biology.

The pal asked Spence if hed heard about the brawl in Utah over control of Ray Noordas VC outfit, The Canopy Group.

Seems that Rays daughter, Val Noorda Kreidel, is suing Canopy CEO Ralph Yarro, CFO Darcy Mott and General Counsel Brent Christensen for allegedly swindling her father and the company out of almost $20 million. The trio is reportedly countersuing for damages in excess of $100 million.

"Hey, what goes around comes around. Canopy owns 32 percent of Darl McBride and his litigious legion at SCO," scoffed the scribe.

As he continued to chat, the forlorn Furball filled out an online dating service form.

"Tawny and terrific— I love walks on the beach," typed the Tabby.

As the pal listened to the Furry One fabricate a persona, he asked if the Kitty had heard about the self-help Web site

"The site encourages folks to list their aspirations and then assigns blogging tags to the ambitions, which then links to folks with similar goals," said the pal.

"Sounds crunchy," moaned the Mouser.

"Now the latest Web buzz is that has secretly backed the 43 Things project since it began," said the pal.

"Mmm, so if my dream was to be a rear admiral, would Amazon send me referrals to books like the Atlas of Therapeutic Proctology?" asked the paranoid Puss.

Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt, the Whiskered Wonder, has been the mascot and tipster extraordinaire for eWEEK and its predecessor print publication PC Week since 1984. The Gadabout Gatto makes the rounds of...