This Sand Is Your Sand, This Sand Is My Sand



Sent: Monday, August 22, 2005 12:42 AM

To: eWEEK readers

Subject: Personal space invaders; a barrel of HoneyMonkeys; koan fishin

Thwack! "Oh, um, sorry," creaked an adenoidal voice as a rogue Frisbee impacted the Furballs pate.

Vacationing on Cape Cod, the paranoid Puss felt as though his fellow beachgoers were infringing on his personal space a little more than usual this year. In fact, so many folks had plunked down around his beach chair that the Furry One feared the cocktail waitress charged with bringing him a fresh piña colada every 15 minutes would never find him again. The KattPhones new ring tone, "Wipeout," interrupted Spences attempt to shoo away a stray toddler who was shoveling sand on his paw.


The caller was a penguinista pal who claimed that Microsoft officials were rankled by comments from Chris DiBona, Googles open-source program manager, at the recent OReilly Open Source Convention, in Portland, Ore. DiBona told attendees that Google proudly released to the open-source community technology it used only internally but did not release technology that users couldnt run, such as software that required a huge data center.

Microsoft officials skulking in the back of the session room were chafing at the free pass Google was getting from the open-source zealots, said the pal. The Redmondites groused that its OK for Google to withhold enterprise-related software code from the community but that Microsoft always catches heat for refusing to release code for Windows, Office or SQL Server. "The day will come when theyll be playing by the same rules as us," muttered a Microsoftie.

Spencer slurped the red-dye-No.-40-impregnated maraschino cherry off the tiny plastic cocktail sword perched on his newly delivered drink and sat nervously as two hulking men began tossing a football over his head.

Spencers phone pal asked the Puss what he thought of the name HoneyMonkeys, which is what Microsoft has dubbed its automated Windows clients that crawl the Web to detect and analyze Web sites hosting malicious code. "Sounds like either a breakfast cereal or slang for ones naughty bits," laughed the Lynx. As His Hirsuteness bid his pal adieu, he noted that a family had plopped down beside him and placed a blanket under his umbrella. Before he could react, his BlackBerry vibrated, marking the arrival of an IM from a crony across the pond who said that open-source lovers in Old Blighty feel the need for a watchdog group to deal with digital rights management issues in Great Britain. The grass-roots organization is seeking donations at rights. While the gritty Kitty swiped a warm bologna sandwich from the sand squatters beside him, the pal also thumbed Spence a reminder that Novell is about to ship Version 7 of its ZENworks management suite. "Thats a version for each year of its existence," chimed Le Chat, who applauded the imminent shipment with the sound of one hand clapping.

Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt, the Whiskered Wonder, has been the mascot and tipster extraordinaire for eWEEK and its predecessor print publication PC Week since 1984. The Gadabout Gatto makes the rounds of...