Jump, Jive and Java

Sneaking snacks, facts in Frisco.

From: spencer_katt@ziffdavis.com
Sent: Monday, June 16, 2003 12:31 AM
To: eWEEK readers
Subject: Sneaking snacks, facts in Frisco

As Spencer checked in to San Franciscos Nikko hotel to attend this years JavaOne conference, he was startled to see a figure as sweaty as James Brown, the Godfather of Soul, after a 2-hour gig, dash across the lobby. The Kitty quickly realized it was James Gosling, the Godfather of Java, in a T-shirt and shorts. It seems many Sun execs get rooms in the city when theres an event rather than deal with the commute from Silicon Valley. A more mobile Gosling for a more mobile Java.

The famished Feline freeloaded from Suns complimentary coffee bar but mused longingly about the huge junk-food buffet he had encountered the week before at Microsofts Tech Ed gala in Dallas. Fritos, ice cream and cupcakes outweighed the free joe, noted the gourmet Grimalkin. And at JavaOne last year, thanks to Larry Ellison, attendees received a free debit card that could be used to buy snacks. This year, Larry must be saving his money for other purchases, Spencer speculated.

As the kaffeinated Kitty downed java, a crony sidled up to tell him that Oracles hostile takeover bid for PeopleSoft prompted an official statement from Siebel Systems claiming the move would cause customer satisfaction and ROI for PeopleSofts clients to nose-dive. Privately, Siebel employees were dancing in the halls over the news, the crony continued, since they saw PeopleSoft as more of a threat to the companys CRM dominance than Oracle. However, Siebel employees werent high-fiving after watching CEO Tom Siebels recent appearance on CNBCs "Kudlow & Cramer," where the CRM czar boasted about the profits his company generated in 2001 and 2002. Siebels figures were higher than a Barry Bonds pop-up, and the next day, the company issued a press release to bring its numbers down—by $281 million.

The sybaritic Sleuth found his way to Johnny Foleys Irish House, where "Nicole the Human Jukebox" offered 60s folk tunes. As the Puss prayed "Puff the Magic Dragon" wasnt on the playlist, a pal told him that word on the street is that Cisco will get into Wi-Max (wireless broadband, 802.11g) big time over the next six to 12 months.

For Day Two of the conference, Sun hired a comedian and former electrical engineer named Don McMillan, who won geeky guffaws with such gems as his definition of PalmPilot: the last thing an adolescent boy wants for a nickname. During McMillans schtick, a tattler told the Tabby that Tom Noonan, CEO of Internet Security Systems, may run for the Georgia Senate. The talkative tipster also claimed John Thompson, CEO of Symantec and a member of the National Infrastructure Advisory Committee, is in line for a political appointment in the Bush administration. "Mmm," mused the Mouser, "folks leaving high tech for comedy and politics—whats the difference?"

Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt, the Whiskered Wonder, has been the mascot and tipster extraordinaire for eWEEK and its predecessor print publication PC Week since 1984. The Gadabout Gatto makes the rounds of...