Genes Get Katt in Bebop Mood

IBM's Blue Gene/L tops the charts; Dell inks Russian deal.

"Bluejean bop a baby, bluejean bop—baby, wont you bop with Gene," sang El Gato, channeling the late rocker Gene Vincent when a buddy told him that IBMs Blue Gene/L topped the Top 500 supercomputer list for the fourth year in a row.

The Rockabilly Rumormonger was spending an extended Fourth of July holiday at the home of a scholarly pal from UMass Dartmouth. "Speaking of supercomputers, the Russian oil and gas industry has signed a strategic partnership with Dell to modernize and upgrade its computing cluster," said the crony, as he handed the Puss a powerfully potent margarita. "Well, Im guessing it wasnt Dells new multi-colored laptops that enticed the Russians to seek the companys expertise," laughed the Lynx. Spence also noted hed heard that despite Dells plans to cut 10 percent of its work force, its Winston-Salem, N.C., plant claims it will still be hiring.

Wincing as he sipped his friends weapons-grade margarita, the Katt started to string together an elaborate assembly of bottle rockets. "Hey, I hear theres malicious spam making the rounds that claims to be from the DOJ and the IRS and is usually addressed to Dear Citizen," said the pal. "Good. If I ever get audited, Ill just ignore the messages and later use fear of spam as my defense," cackled the Kitty, as he continued twirling tiny rocket fuses together.

As the Furry One fussed with his fireworks, the pal mentioned that Microsoft might release a new Zune before it gets around to releasing Windows Vista SP1. The buzz is that Redmond may have two Zunes—an 80GB number code-named Scorpio and a flash-based model code-named Draco—ready for production this month and available by the 2007 holiday season. Vista SP1, on the other hand, is expected to have a beta release by the end of the year but not an official release until 2008. "Scorpio and Draco? Sounds more like soap opera characters than music players," tittered the Tabby.

Suddenly, the KattPhones new ring tone, "Be-Bop-A-Lula," brought forth a call from a crony who said CA co-founder Russell Artzt has been anointed with the new title of vice chairman. The pal also said rumors of a possible merger between and Netflix still seem to be circulating.

Bidding his phone pal adieu, Spence lit the fuse to his fireworks display, which instantly exploded in his face, causing the frightened Furball to drop the KattPhone into a nearby pitcher of margaritas. "Hey, thereve been tales on the Web lately that you should try drying out a soaked cell phone in a bowl of uncooked rice. They say the rice will draw out the water," said the pal. "They also claim that soaking the unit in a 95 percent alcohol solution will dry it out—and after trying to down your mighty margarita mix, I think Ill just leave the phone in the pitcher and take my chances," groused the Grimalkin.

Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt, the Whiskered Wonder, has been the mascot and tipster extraordinaire for eWEEK and its predecessor print publication PC Week since 1984. The Gadabout Gatto makes the rounds of...