Katt Predicts Lucent Service Biz Sale

Well, another April 15 has come and gone, and El Gato assumes most Americans have put fear of the tax man behind them. “Yes,” cackled the Kitty, “now its time to crack open a cold one and see how much spyware your tax preparation software has hidden on your PC!”

As Spencer kicked back, he noticed quite a few fanatical Linux lovers had e-mailed him with a suggested footnote to his April 8 column, where he mentioned the saga of the anti-Unix Web site at www.wehavethewayout.com. It seems the pro-Microsoft site, which had, ironically, become inaccessible after migrating from FreeBSD and Apache servers to a Microsoft platform, now faces a parody site at www.wehavethewayin.com. “I pass this along because I dont want to wake up and find a penguins head in my bed,” laughed the Lynx.

If youre looking for more humor at Redmonds expense, a Katt crony sent the Furball pictures of a marketing package he received from Microsoft. Inside was a container with a picture of a climber rappelling down a sheer cliff. The text on the box read, “The right equipment matters.” Inside a clear, plastic window on the box was a shiny, 3-inch, mountain climbers carabiner clip. Now the punch line: Engraved on the clip were the words: “No load bearing.”

“Its hard to believe that Microsofts marketing folks wouldnt have realized the implications of the No load bearing message thats found on the key-chain-variety carabiner and inserted a real climbers carabiner (with ton-rated strength) instead,” the tipster said. “And folks wonder why the tech markets cant get vertical,” laughed the Lynx.

A Tabby tipster claims Big Apple-based Predictive Systems is looking to buy Lucent Technologies integrated networking service organization, Lucent ESS. The tipster pointed out that Lucent has apparently been peddling its INS since late last year. The tipster could assume only that Predictive, a publicly traded networking security company whose stock is down, would probably seek the help of outside investors if such a purchase were in the works.

Finally, file this one under “Death by Sound Blaster.” A pal of the Puss pointed out this notation in a license agreement from Creative Technology for one of its Sound Blaster Audigy audio cards: “The limitations of remedies and damages in the software license agreement shall not apply to personal injury (including death) to any person caused by Creatives negligence. …”

“So listen to Manilow at your own risk,” quipped the Kitty.

Spencer F. Katt can be reached at spencer_katt@ziffdavis.com.