Road Trip!

Spencer goes on a coast-to-coast trip to catch the Opteron and Windows Server 2003 rollouts.

Spencer began the week Monday by calling in sick. Then he hitched a ride to the start of the Boston Marathon. Spencer wanted to try out his Garmin GPS V device, but he wasnt about to get lost in the pack of 20,000 runners moving in one direction. Still, he found the bar listings along the route helpful. The slower pace allowed him to check his BlackBerry for tips. As if the pain from his side stitch wasnt enough, most of the e-mail was from NASCAR-impaired readers who didnt like his attitude. "We can too program!" clattered the chorus of carburetor crybabies. Spencer forwarded the flood to the eWEEK circ department to make sure the flamers qual forms were up to snuff.

But when on Tuesday at 5 a.m. Spencers alarm went off, he really did need to call in sick, since he could barely move. No matter, onto the New York shuttle to catch the AMD Opteron rollout. He groaned when he saw that the designated celeb was Bob Costas, a man who thinks a microchip is a kind of golf shot youd use to get onto the green. The theme, Costas read from the TelePrompTer, was "breakout performances." Billie Jean King, Dr. J and the AMD Opteron are all very much alike, maintained the Mouse that Roared. That would mean theyre all straight out of the 70s? Spencer fidgeted in a retro-fit.

The curmudgeonly Kitten headed to the nearest Starbucks hot spot to calm himself and file. There, he pawsed over his quadruple espresso for a moment of silence to remember the brilliant father of relational database technology, Edgar Codd, without whom Larry Ellison would have been a car salesman. Talk about unintended consequences. Codd always did work in mysterious ways, he me-ewsed.

Wednesday was a travel day, and the Frequent Feline Flier connected through Dallas on his way to the Windows Server 2003 rollout in San Francisco. In a bar at DFW, Spencer overheard a patron say that EDS is laying off 20 percent of its Midwest sales force. He then picked up a copy of the Daily Oklahoman from a barstool to read that the state of OKs CRM project with PeopleSoft had mushroomed from $17 million to over $30 million.

The next day, the Puss found himself in the San Francisco Civic Center. Microsoft Windows Server Group VP Bill Veghte looked calm—considering his wife gave birth last week. The Katt likes culture, but did Steve Ballmer need to launch into an interpretive dance over TPC benchmark results on Windows Server 2003 and an HP Itanium server? The sight made the tippling Tabby long for a drink; he stepped over the homeless folks in the rain outside the building as he headed for the ThirstyBear by the Moscone.

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Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt, the Whiskered Wonder, has been the mascot and tipster extraordinaire for eWEEK and its predecessor print publication PC Week since 1984. The Gadabout Gatto makes the rounds of...