Big, Fat Geek Wedding

Having once awoken in Nevada to find

Having once awoken in Nevada to find himself wed to his old high-school cafeteria lunch lady after a chance meeting and a wild night at the bingo tables, Spence felt sympathy for Britney Spears and her recent inebriated nuptials. So much for the "What happens here, stays here" Vegas ad campaign, eh?

As the Hirsute One recalled his posthaste parting from his hairnetted honey, he noted that Symbol Technologies CEO and acting Chairman of the Board Richard Bravman has voluntarily left his position at the company. Bravman is stepping down after 17 months as head honcho at the handheld maker "in an effort to facilitate a favorable conclusion to the previously reported government investigation into Symbols past accounting practices," according to the company. It seems that in Q2 2001, prior to holding the CEO post, Bravman was involved in the premature recognition of $860,000 in revenue. "Hey, who cant relate?" pondered the penurious Puss. "Im always expecting to come into money someday, arent you?"

Spence scanned Cambridges curbs for lost lottery tickets as he hustled to meet a pal for pizza along the Charles River. "It could happen," groused the Grimalkin. At lunch, the friend claimed that although Lotus folks should feel good that the IBM division has recommitted to the Notes and Domino platforms, morale is lower than ever. Many Loti are chafing at layoffs and IBM policies that call for Loti to be written up for not locking their office doors when they leave or for leaving laptops in view, even if offices are locked. Some are declining to present at Lotusphere, the pal posited.

Spence skatted across the river to a Beantown bar, where he ran into a buddy who was laughing about the page that the latest Mimail worm opens when victims execute the worm. The page features more than 20 sets of "separated at birth" pix pairing President Bushs facial expressions with simian smirks. "Howard Dean knows how to manipulate the Web, but he couldnt be this adept, could he?" quipped the Katt.

It seems Redmondites think home users have been remiss in deworming PCs. Although Softies issued two patches for the Blaster worm, Spences sidekick at the bar snickered that they issued last week a hunting tool for Blaster aimed at home users. Evidently, those "innocent" e-mail reminders about juniors T-ball game still clog Net pipes. The pal noted that the folks at "Bungalow" Bills Hunt Club werent thrilled not to get a heads-up before bug hunters at publicly announced late last year an IE 6 flaw they claim allows easy spoofing of URLs. And hows the new years virus tracking going at his homeys Hub institution? "Safari, so good," punned the pal of the Puss.

Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt

Spencer F. Katt, the Whiskered Wonder, has been the mascot and tipster extraordinaire for eWEEK and its predecessor print publication PC Week since 1984. The Gadabout Gatto makes the rounds of...