Close
  • Latest News
  • Artificial Intelligence
  • Video
  • Big Data and Analytics
  • Cloud
  • Networking
  • Cybersecurity
  • Applications
  • IT Management
  • Storage
  • Sponsored
  • Mobile
  • Small Business
  • Development
  • Database
  • Servers
  • Android
  • Apple
  • Innovation
  • Blogs
  • PC Hardware
  • Reviews
  • Search Engines
  • Virtualization
Read Down
Sign in
Close
Welcome!Log into your account
Forgot your password?
Read Down
Password recovery
Recover your password
Close
Search
Logo
Subscribe
Logo
  • Latest News
  • Artificial Intelligence
  • Video
  • Big Data and Analytics
  • Cloud
  • Networking
  • Cybersecurity
  • Applications
  • IT Management
  • Storage
  • Sponsored
  • Mobile
  • Small Business
  • Development
  • Database
  • Servers
  • Android
  • Apple
  • Innovation
  • Blogs
  • PC Hardware
  • Reviews
  • Search Engines
  • Virtualization
More
    Subscribe
    Home Cybersecurity
    • Cybersecurity

    Mastermind Ballmer Ad-Libs Jhole

    Written by

    Spencer F. Katt
    Published October 15, 2001
    Share
    Facebook
    Twitter
    Linkedin

      eWEEK content and product recommendations are editorially independent. We may make money when you click on links to our partners. Learn More.

      El Gato was intrigued by some newspeak that Microsofts Steve Ballmer incorporated into his Mastermind Interview at the Gartner Symposium last week in Lake Buena Vista, Fla. Ballmer was extemporizing about the Liberty Alliance initiative that rival Sun had put together with industry partners.

      In arguing that Liberty poses no threat to products like Microsofts Passport authentication service, Ballmer came up with an analogy that left more than a few attendees scratching their collective heads.

      He invented this imaginary thing or product on the spot that he called Jhole, (apparently riffing on Suns Java, JavaBeans and J2EE themes) and tried to create a scenario that showed how Sun starts these initiatives that only address a part of a problem and dont really work well with other products.

      Right after Ballmers improv, Compaqs Michael Capellas did his Gartner Mastermind Interview. When asked about Ballmers Jhole comments, Capellas said, “We have a great relationship with Microsoft—but I have no idea what Steves talking about.”

      “I never took that economics class where they discuss Jholes,” mused the Mouser. “We only hypothesized about widgets.”

      Spencer was reminiscing about how giddy some of his geekier pals were when services like the now-defunct Kozmo. com were being touted as the wave of the future. The promise of having personal-care products, snacks, the latest CD, video or best-selling novel delivered to your door within an hour without leaving your keyboard had some of the Kittys nerdier pals salivating.

      Well, maybe not the personal-care products. Anyway, with that in mind, the Kitty was amused when he stumbled upon CompleteCase.com. The site, run by a Washington-state-based company named Emit, promises to allow users to complete divorce proceedings without ever appearing in court. For a measly fee of $249, you can ditch your spouse without the discomfort of having to actually face him or her in a courtroom. The service is available to California, Florida and Washington residents only.

      “My geeky pals wouldnt hesitate to use the Web for such an important matter,” laughed the Lynx. “But, unfortunately, most of them would have to start dating before theyd even need an online divorce service.”

      El Gato has received reports of some armchair warriors trying to wage their own war on terrorism. It seems some U.S.-based hackers decided to target any and all Afghanistan-based Web sites and dish out their own brand of justice.

      Unfortunately, according to a Tabby tattler, the only sites the keyboard-pounding patriots could locate in the region turned out to be operated by U.S. intelligence agencies. The friend of the Furry One claimed that authorities asked the hackers to cease their cyber-sorties, which were inadvertently hampering U.S. efforts there.

      “Reports that the disillusioned hackers later shook the Dorito crumbs from their shirts and utilized them to create a small mosaic of the Statue of Liberty remain unconfirmed,” giggled the Grimalkin.

      FYI: The University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee mascot is the panther, not the badger, as stated last week.

      Spencer F. Katt
      Spencer F. Katt
      Spencer F. Katt is a seasoned technology journalist with over 40 years of experience covering the latest trends in IT, cybersecurity, and applications. As a former editor at eWEEK and PC Week, Spencer has provided expert analysis on a wide range of topics, from cloud computing innovations to enterprise IT solutions. With a passion for breaking down complex technological developments, he brings clarity and insight to both industry professionals and tech enthusiasts. Spencer is known for his sharp commentary on tech industry shifts, and his deep understanding of both the technical and business sides of IT make him a trusted voice in the field.

      Get the Free Newsletter!

      Subscribe to Daily Tech Insider for top news, trends & analysis

      Get the Free Newsletter!

      Subscribe to Daily Tech Insider for top news, trends & analysis

      MOST POPULAR ARTICLES

      Artificial Intelligence

      9 Best AI 3D Generators You Need...

      Sam Rinko - June 25, 2024 0
      AI 3D Generators are powerful tools for many different industries. Discover the best AI 3D Generators, and learn which is best for your specific use case.
      Read more
      Cloud

      RingCentral Expands Its Collaboration Platform

      Zeus Kerravala - November 22, 2023 0
      RingCentral adds AI-enabled contact center and hybrid event products to its suite of collaboration services.
      Read more
      Artificial Intelligence

      8 Best AI Data Analytics Software &...

      Aminu Abdullahi - January 18, 2024 0
      Learn the top AI data analytics software to use. Compare AI data analytics solutions & features to make the best choice for your business.
      Read more
      Latest News

      Zeus Kerravala on Networking: Multicloud, 5G, and...

      James Maguire - December 16, 2022 0
      I spoke with Zeus Kerravala, industry analyst at ZK Research, about the rapid changes in enterprise networking, as tech advances and digital transformation prompt...
      Read more
      Video

      Datadog President Amit Agarwal on Trends in...

      James Maguire - November 11, 2022 0
      I spoke with Amit Agarwal, President of Datadog, about infrastructure observability, from current trends to key challenges to the future of this rapidly growing...
      Read more
      Logo

      eWeek has the latest technology news and analysis, buying guides, and product reviews for IT professionals and technology buyers. The site’s focus is on innovative solutions and covering in-depth technical content. eWeek stays on the cutting edge of technology news and IT trends through interviews and expert analysis. Gain insight from top innovators and thought leaders in the fields of IT, business, enterprise software, startups, and more.

      Facebook
      Linkedin
      RSS
      Twitter
      Youtube

      Advertisers

      Advertise with TechnologyAdvice on eWeek and our other IT-focused platforms.

      Advertise with Us

      Menu

      • About eWeek
      • Subscribe to our Newsletter
      • Latest News

      Our Brands

      • Privacy Policy
      • Terms
      • About
      • Contact
      • Advertise
      • Sitemap
      • California – Do Not Sell My Information

      Property of TechnologyAdvice.
      © 2024 TechnologyAdvice. All Rights Reserved

      Advertiser Disclosure: Some of the products that appear on this site are from companies from which TechnologyAdvice receives compensation. This compensation may impact how and where products appear on this site including, for example, the order in which they appear. TechnologyAdvice does not include all companies or all types of products available in the marketplace.