Other than those walking the secret halls of the National Security Agency, James Bamford, author of two books on the NSA, probably knows more about the agency than anyone else. During a recent speech at the Computers Freedom and Privacy Conference, Bamford claimed that the NSA has created a small side business out of shredding the millions of documents it generates every year. The NSA converts the paper into pulp and recycles it into pizza boxes inside its headquarters in Fort Meade, Md. Last year alone, sales of the covert pizza containers generated $58,000 for the agency, according to Bamford. “Order 18 more pizzas, Natasha, Ive almost cracked the code,” mused the Mouser as he aped cartoon spy Boris Badenov.
Although e-security is a major concern these days, job security in that particular sector certainly isnt guaranteed. A Tabby tipster claimed employees of SonicWall, which laid off about 20 percent of its workers last week, actually knew that major cuts were eventually coming. It seems that after several acquisitions, which included Phobos and RedCreek Communications, insiders realized they were overstaffed.
Unfortunately, folks who were laid off recently at RSA Security werent as clairvoyant. According to a Katt crony, the folks who were being cut didnt know about the upcoming layoffs until they read a company press release announcing plans to sever 17 percent of its work force.
“Mmm, that seems like finding out the doors of your car fly open when you turn on the radio and having Ford tell you its due to driver interaction,” laughed the Lynx.
The Katt was giddy when he noticed a job opening on www.computerjobs.com for director of Microsoft Homeland Security. The title reminded Spence of comedian George Carlins oxymoron routine, which points out word combos like “jumbo shrimp” and “military intelligence.”
“I guess its the same as economists who use terms like negative growth to describe the economy,” cackled the Kitty.