Close
  • Latest News
  • Big Data and Analytics
  • Cloud
  • Networking
  • Cybersecurity
  • Applications
  • IT Management
  • Storage
  • Sponsored
  • Mobile
  • Small Business
  • Development
  • Database
  • Servers
  • Android
  • Apple
  • Innovation
  • Blogs
  • PC Hardware
  • Reviews
  • Search Engines
  • Virtualization
Read Down
Sign in
Close
Welcome!Log into your account
Forgot your password?
Read Down
Password recovery
Recover your password
Close
Search
Logo
Logo
  • Latest News
  • Big Data and Analytics
  • Cloud
  • Networking
  • Cybersecurity
  • Applications
  • IT Management
  • Storage
  • Sponsored
  • Mobile
  • Small Business
  • Development
  • Database
  • Servers
  • Android
  • Apple
  • Innovation
  • Blogs
  • PC Hardware
  • Reviews
  • Search Engines
  • Virtualization
More
    Home IT Management
    • IT Management

    Glazed, Please

    By
    eWEEK EDITORS
    -
    March 19, 2001
    Share
    Facebook
    Twitter
    Linkedin

      So it has finally come to this: Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

      Maybe I should have guessed all along that the sole beneficiary of the current dot-com/telecommunications meltdown would be a purveyor of circular, carbohydrate-laden deep-fried confections. While everybody in the Internet sector is rapidly whirling down the great economic toilet bowl, our friends at Krispy Kreme Doughnut are posting record numbers.

      Check this out: The doughnut makers fourth-quarter earnings more than tripled to $4.2 million over the same period one year earlier, helped by a hefty 39 percent increase in revenue to $82 million.

      Whats going on here? This is the time we were supposed to be seeing the history-changing effects of the New Economy. Instead, depressed Internet execs are seeking solace in boxes of Krispy Kreme doughnuts, digging deep for any comfort a puffy Boston cream or slightly greasy cruller might offer.

      What a sad state of affairs. Its only a matter of time before svelte, well-pumped Net brass start packing on the pounds. It could get frightening — think of how many boxes of doughnuts Yahoo!s soon-to-be-former Chief Executive Tim Koogle could acquire with his $300,000 salary. According to Krispy Kreme officials, that tidy sum would buy 69,930 boxes of glazed spherical tasties. If he were feeling in the mood for some variety, Koogles pay could purchase 62,630 boxes of assorted hollow-centered treats.

      Its clear from Krispy Kremes earnings that Koogle and others have already commenced the Big Doughnut Pig-Out of 2001. Several weeks ago I spotted WorldCom CEO and former megamerger maniac Bernie Ebbers buying a dozen double-chocolate doughnuts at the Krispy Kreme in Clinton, Miss. He didnt even send a minion to do it, so vital was his task.

      I was too respectful to interfere and ask Ebbers a difficult question like, “A share of your stock can barely buy a large pizza. Wouldnt a dozen plain doughnuts be more appropriate?”

      Which set me to thinking: What kind of doughnuts do other big-wig Net executives eat in these difficult times? So I made some calls.

      Bill Gates: Raspberry, because he likes to squeeze out the filling of each before he fully consumes them.

      Toby Lenk, CEO of now-defunct eToys: Doughnut holes, because you can roll them around and play with them.

      Jeff Bezos: Sprinkled, because you can stack them high and make them look more impressive than they really are.

      Bon appetit!

      eWEEK EDITORS
      eWeek editors publish top thought leaders and leading experts in emerging technology across a wide variety of Enterprise B2B sectors. Our focus is providing actionable information for today’s technology decision makers.

      MOST POPULAR ARTICLES

      Big Data and Analytics

      Alteryx’s Suresh Vittal on the Democratization of...

      James Maguire - May 31, 2022 0
      I spoke with Suresh Vittal, Chief Product Officer at Alteryx, about the industry mega-shift toward making data analytics tools accessible to a company’s complete...
      Read more
      Cybersecurity

      Visa’s Michael Jabbara on Cybersecurity and Digital...

      James Maguire - May 17, 2022 0
      I spoke with Michael Jabbara, VP and Global Head of Fraud Services at Visa, about the cybersecurity technology used to ensure the safe transfer...
      Read more
      Applications

      Cisco’s Thimaya Subaiya on Customer Experience in...

      James Maguire - May 10, 2022 0
      I spoke with Thimaya Subaiya, SVP and GM of Global Customer Experience at Cisco, about the factors that create good customer experience – and...
      Read more
      Big Data and Analytics

      GoodData CEO Roman Stanek on Business Intelligence...

      James Maguire - May 4, 2022 0
      I spoke with Roman Stanek, CEO of GoodData, about business intelligence, data as a service, and the frustration that many executives have with data...
      Read more
      Cloud

      Yotascale CEO Asim Razzaq on Controlling Multicloud...

      James Maguire - May 5, 2022 0
      Asim Razzaq, CEO of Yotascale, provides guidance on understanding—and containing—the complex cost structure of multicloud computing. Among the topics we covered:  As you survey the...
      Read more
      Logo

      eWeek has the latest technology news and analysis, buying guides, and product reviews for IT professionals and technology buyers. The site’s focus is on innovative solutions and covering in-depth technical content. eWeek stays on the cutting edge of technology news and IT trends through interviews and expert analysis. Gain insight from top innovators and thought leaders in the fields of IT, business, enterprise software, startups, and more.

      Facebook
      Linkedin
      RSS
      Twitter
      Youtube

      Advertisers

      Advertise with TechnologyAdvice on eWeek and our other IT-focused platforms.

      Advertise with Us

      Menu

      • About eWeek
      • Subscribe to our Newsletter
      • Latest News

      Our Brands

      • Privacy Policy
      • Terms
      • About
      • Contact
      • Advertise
      • Sitemap
      • California – Do Not Sell My Information

      Property of TechnologyAdvice.
      © 2021 TechnologyAdvice. All Rights Reserved

      Advertiser Disclosure: Some of the products that appear on this site are from companies from which TechnologyAdvice receives compensation. This compensation may impact how and where products appear on this site including, for example, the order in which they appear. TechnologyAdvice does not include all companies or all types of products available in the marketplace.

      ×